Welcome. To|My Life.

[le Dawnz]

Title: Welcome To My Life
FanFic: Maximum Ride
Setting: Smack dab in the middle. But written after having read #3.
Chapter: 4- Are you ready for this?
Other: I started out writing it to 'What I Wouldn't Give' (which you'll see a little in the story) but ended it while listening to 'Are you ready for this?' by 3 Days Grace (who ROCK). Thus, the title.


Sentimental moment over, the flock crashed as soon as it got dark. I was the only one left up, as usual, but hard as I tried, I just couldn’t fall asleep. I glanced over at Iggy, watching his steady breathing for a minute.

After his little episode, he’d managed to pull himself together and miraculously return to normal by the time the younger kids came back. But I couldn’t help notice how quiet he was for the rest of the night. I think the others noticed it too.

He seemed okay now though. I’d almost been expecting a few nightmares, like the ones that had haunted me that first night. Then again, this whole thing was a nightmare. I sat back on my heels, watching the flames of our campfire make flickering shadows across the wall. I kept replaying the scene in my mind. Flyboys appearing out of nowhere, the complete scuzzes they were, and grabbing Fang. I could still hear the gunshots going off, ringing in my ears. One, two. And that awful man shouting that Fang was dead.

It was all too surreal.

I’d always said that I didn’t know what I’d do without Fang, but I’d never actually thought about the possibility of really losing him. I mean, I’d come close, but at the time I’d shut out all the swarming thoughts and focused on keeping positive. I don’t think I ever really believed that I would really loose him. Oh man, what I wouldn’t give, what I would do to make things right again.

I heard something make a swooping sound outside and went on full alert. I relaxed a bit when I realized it was just a bat. I sighed, distracted from my ever-so-cheerful thoughts. My head ached. Massaging my temples, I backed away from the fire and cleared a spot to lie down. I had to get some sleep. I took a deep breath and sighed loudly. When I closed my eyes I was instantly pulled into unconsciousness, like a wave crashing over me.

I was peaceful for a while. Then all of a sudden, I was standing in a dark room. I soon realized that I couldn’t control my body. I knew I was dreaming, but that didn’t stop the nervous feeling from crawling up my spine.

My head spun slowly, my eyes robotically searching for any sign of movement, any bit of light that could tell me where I was. When it stopped, I could make out the shape of something lying on a table. I stepped toward it involuntarily. Abruptly, a breeze that seemed to come from nowhere brushed past. Something on the table moved. It rustled, like leaves… I could feel the rock in the pit in my stomach growing bigger.

It was hair. Black hair.

Oh, God.

I didn’t have time to acknowledge the nauseous feeling I was getting before I was suddenly transported somewhere else. I could see this time. I was facing a metal wall. I heard a ‘whoop whoop’ sound, loud and all around me. Then I heard gunshots. My body whipped around in time to see Fang fall back hard against the ground of the helicopter, his head smacking the tin floor loudly.

“No!” I cried, unheard, just as the guy in front of me shouted, “You idiots! They wanted him alive!” All I could see of him was the back of his helmet and a white lab coat with a parachute strapped to his back. Fang lay on the ground with a bullet hole through his chest and one in his side. His dark eyes looked straight at me, as if he could see me there. His whole body seemed to sigh when his eyes closed and he went limp.

I gasped, sitting upright. I was back in the cave again. I glanced around at the rest of the flock, all still sleeping soundly. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them close. I’d just seen it happen. There was no denying it now. Fang was dead. Some part of me had hoped, had believed… There was no point in going after them anymore, because now I knew for sure. He was gone. I buried my face into my arms, and silently cried myself back to sleep.

[Roxie !]

NOOOO!! -dies- How can he actually be dead?! -chokesob-

[le Dawnz]

No comment. Wow it's 10 already?

Title: Welcome To My Life
FanFic: Maximum Ride
Setting: Smack dab in the middle. But written after having read #3.
Chapter: 5- I've Been Dropped Out, Burned Up, Fought My Way Back From The Dead
Other: I was listening to 'I'll Be' when I wrote this, but it doesn't have anything to do with the chapter. It didn't really help much I don't think, but maybe it did. That'll probably come later. The title is a lyric from that song. Anyway, enjoy!


"Uhhhhhhgg…" I heard somebody moan loudly. It sounded incredibly pitiful, and I’m not entirely sure, but I was pretty sure it was me. God, I felt like somebody was sitting on my chest. I tried to open my eyes, but it was a few minutes before any part of my body responded. The bright light shining into the cave nearly blinded me. When my eyes adjusted, I saw four worried faces gazing down at me.

My eyes hurt from crying, and I was pretty sure they were as bloodshot as they felt. I tried to take a deep breath, but realized I couldn’t breathe! Completely and uncharacteristically freaking out, I bolted into a sitting position, gasping for air. Relief flooded through me when I felt my lungs expand. I sighed, and then winced in pain.

Ouch. Everything hurt. I looked around at the rest of my flock, but all their faces were suddenly blurry. My head was spinning and had begun to throb. Ugh. What was happening to me? My nose was so stuffed up I had to breathe through my mouth. My lips were dry and cracked, and I hurt in places I didn’t know I could. Every time I took another breath, it felt like someone was squeezing my chest tighter, like one of those girdle things that girls in England wore ages ago. Every one of my ribs ached, and I kept getting heat flashes, but I was shivering.

I rubbed my temples, shutting my eyes tight against the pain. “Max, are you okay?” somebody asked. I think it was Nudge, but my brain couldn’t comprehend her voice very well. “Lay back down, Max. You have a fever.” said a different voice. I was pretty sure it was Iggy. I did as I was told (for once), even though lying down made breathing more painful. At least it made the headache lighten up.

“What are we going to do Iggy? Should we find a hospital? Is she really sick? She’s going to be okay right? I mean, she doesn’t look good… no not like that. I mean, you always look great Max, it’s just that you look so pale and… and sick. But she’s gonna be alright, right Iggy? I mean, she’s not going to…” “Nudge.” Iggy intervened. She trailed off then, to my relief. All the noise was doing major damage to my eardrums. Every little sound, the scraping of a boot on the ground, the low buzz of a bug flying by, even the tiny breeze whistling outside, was like torture.

“Mmmm… water.” I choked out, shifting onto my side so I’d be able to drink. Gazzy, his brave face a comfort to see, handed me a bottle of water he’d dug out from one of our backpacks. I drained the whole thing. It swished around in my stomach when I laid back again. “I’m fine. Just a little hot.” I managed. “Nothing to worry about.” They didn’t look very convinced. “Just need sleep. A little more… sleep.” I closed my eyes and tried to relax. My whole body seemed to shut down.

I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up again hours later. I could smell something cooking, and felt something cool on my forehead. I reach up to find something resembling a wet cloth on my forehead. I curled my fingers around it and sat up slowly. My whole body was stiff, but I felt a heck-of-a-lot better.

I looked around to find only Iggy in the cave. He was roasting a hot dog over the fire. “Where’d they go?” I asked, clearing my throat. He looked up. “Sent them up with the hawks again.” he replied. I nodded and crossed my legs beneath me.

“So… how bad was I?” I asked.

“Pretty bad.”

“What happened?”

“Dunno. You were moaning in your sleep a bunch. You had a fever too, and anytime someone touched you you’d flinch.”

Great. Moaning in my sleep. That must’ve been a riot.

“How do you feel?”

“Better.” I said. “Not as hot. Still kind of achy.” What had happened to make me so sick, so fast? I never get sick! Not since I was little, when Jeb had first broken us out of the lab.

Speak of the devil… I hadn’t heard from him for a while. Maybe he’d finally taken my advice and got a life. Maybe.

I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them, pushing the thought away. I closed my eyes and tried to locate where it hurt worst. It only took a minute for me to go through every ache and pain in my body. My heart was still the one that hurt the most.

[trissea]

_{Extreme love! I love this FF...like...so much! It really sounds like the books!}

[le Dawnz]

^^ Thanks!

Edit: Page two, finally! lmao

[le Dawnz]

I can't believe you guys actually made me stay up this late to finish this when I have to be up at 5:30, AGAIN. I should have gone to bed like, 2 hours ago! So if I pass out from sleep deprivation tomorrow, I am SO blaming you!

Edit: I modified chapter... 4 I think it was. The last 2 paragraphs. Make it a little more... dramatic! So yeah, read it.

Title: Welcome To My Life
FanFic: Maximum Ride
Setting: Smack dab in the middle. But written after having read #3. You might see references to #4 though.
Chapter: 6- Can I Have This Dance?
Other: O.MG. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve changed this. Shorter, less-confusing version: I was listening to What I Wouldn’t Give by Holly Brook (which could totally be MR’s theme song) and thought, hey! I need to update that! So I listen to some songs, get some ideas, and come up with this. This chapter is mostly inspired by Can I Have This Dance from HSM3 and a little from Another Now by Kate Alexa and Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch (shocker, right?). Other songs that contributed a little were: Check Yes Juliet, Accidentally in Love, various Avril Lavigne songs, and oh! I’m gonna go listen to Shine Your Light! That might help a little. (Can anyone guess where I get my muse? Lmao.) The next chapter is already figured out (thanks in a big part to Another Now and Goodbye To You) so it’ll come shortly after. I wanted it in THIS chapter, but I figured it’s getting long so I should split it up. It’s about to get (uncharacteristically) sweet. So, enjoy! On another note, who wants to guess how many YouTube songs I snuck into school today? Seriously, guess!


It was past midnight when I woke up this time. The thing that made this different from all the other times I’d woken up in the middle of the night for the past few days was that I didn’t ache so much anymore. I could breathe without feeling like an Eraser was sitting on my chest, and I could feel the hollow gap in my stomach made by lack of food intake. I sat up slowly, waiting for the headache to come back, but it didn’t. Thank GOD. I’d started thinking that I was dying.

Which, of course, led to thinking about Ari (yet another painful memory). Which made me think about Fang. God, would I ever be able to think about him without wanting to crawl under a rock and cry like a baby?

I groaned with effort as I tried to stand. I ended up leaning against the cold stone wall. I hated this feeling. So… disgusting and… and helpless. I hated feeling helpless. But I decided that if I could feel that disgusted and helpless, I was well enough to get the hell out of here.

My flock was sleeping around me. Gasman was sprawled in the middle of the cave, and Nudge and Angel were huddled together, Total in between them. Iggy was curled on his side, his back to me. My eyes kept searching, using the built-in raptor night-vision those psycho scientists were kind enough to equip us with. I knew that what I was looking for wouldn’t be there, and it wasn’t. I stretched, muscles complaining violently, and picked my way around them until I reached the mouth of the cave.

I glanced over my shoulder, my eyes skimming over them and pausing on Iggy. There was no way he hadn’t heard me get up. Besides, someone had to keep a look out. I realized how tired Iggy and Nudge must be, being the only two able to keep watch the whole night. I reached out and rapped on the wall twice, knowing Iggy would hear. His return nod was barely perceptible.

I let my wings unfold and dove off the cliff toward the ground. Even with my handy-dandy super night-vision, I could only see a dim outline of the canyon’s floor. When I was within 20 feet of the ground, I banked out of the dive into a steep climb.

Note to self: don’t attempt 90 degree climbs after lack of exercise. My wings burned where they met my back like someone was trying to rip them out. I swooped out of the climb and settled for a less dramatic angle. I flew past cliff after cliff, not going anywhere in particular. I just needed to get away. The more distance I put between me and the Flock, the more detached I felt. It wasn’t as bad a feeling as it should have been.

Every waking second these past few days had been torture. I could think of nothing but how miserable I felt. I remembered waking up a few times to hear the flock whispering to each other. I’m sure they were talking about me, because as soon as they realized I was awake, they would get real quiet again. Other times, I would wake up to a near dead silence. It was weird, feeling alone but knowing I wasn’t. I didn’t like it. But there were a lot of things I didn’t like lately.

When I was asleep, my head was filled with nightmares, but they weren’t always coherent. Some were like those flashes I used to get, just before my Voice showed up.

And I was always thinking of him. I couldn’t get him out of my head. I swear his face must be engraved on the back of my eyelids now. Sometimes, I would see him die, see the light fade from his dark eyes over and over again. And sometimes I would end up in the dark room again. Once, I dreamt about the battle on the beach months ago, right after we’d gotten our New York makeovers.

I couldn’t stand seeing Ari beat the crap out of Fang the first time, but it was twice as hard now because now I knew that Ari was my brother. It hurt to see him like that. I couldn’t help but blame myself for his death. It was my fault they’d turned him into an emotionally unstable monster and given him an expiration date.

The dream had triggered the memory of another battle like that one, the one that had ended with Fang in the hospital thanks to my ‘brother’. He’d nearly died then. I remembered the cold feeling of dread coursing through me like adrenaline when I saw him lying on a hospital bed after his surgery, his face pale as an egg. I’d thought he would die that day. I’d been so scared. Had all that effort, all that exposure and pain been nothing but a waste?

No. I couldn’t believe that. At least we’d gotten that much more time with him. That should mean something, right?

Oh jeez. I needed to get out of the sky, and fast.

My eyes skimmed the cliff face, looking for somewhere to land. I heard a low rumble of thunder in the night sky, but it sounded far away. I finally spotted a small hollow that looked like it had been carved out and eroded away over the years. I had to duck to fit into the indent. It didn’t go back as far as a cave, and it was rounded out so that every side was sloping, like a rock had been cleanly broken away.

I sat down as far back as I could fit and curled up, holding my knees to my chest and resting my chin on them. I gazed out at the sky, still black and speckled with stars and menacing gray clouds. I watched the stars flicker, as if sending Morse code to each other.

I’d never really thought about God all that much. I didn’t have the luxury of thinking about whether or not there was a higher power out there somewhere that we couldn’t see when we were always running from the “higher power” that we could. But looking up at the stars now, I wondered if Fang was in some sort of heaven.

I wasn’t sure I believed there was an afterlife, but it was nice to think about at times like these. If death was anything like being stuck in an isolation tank… I shuddered. I hoped death was nothing like that.

As I counted the millions of stars, my mind began to drift. As soon as it had wandered a ways off, it turned back to those things I’d rather not think about. Like, what now? I’d always had a plan, or at least had been able to make it up as I went along. Now, I was totally blank. It was like I’d lost the only reason good enough to keep it going.

I needed to stay strong, for Angel and Gazzy and Nudge and Iggy if nothing else. But how was I going to do that when couldn’t think about anything except how much life SUCKS right now? I imagined Fang’s face, draining of all color, his dark eyes gazing at me, as if saying goodbye, as they glazed over for the last time and slowly closed.

I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in my lap, hugging my knees tighter. I didn’t realize I was crying until I heard a loud sob. A earsplitting crack of thunder went off outside and it was suddenly raining.

I just sat there and cried.

After a while, I felt something brush my arm. Without thinking, I jumped up in surprise, my fight-or-flight instincts kicking in. In 2 seconds flat I would be ready to kick major butt.

But as I planted my feet, I stumbled, expecting to still be on the sloping floor of the cliff hollow. I was on flat ground now, but I couldn’t tell where. I looked around, still ready to launch myself at whatever had touched me, and saw that I was surrounded by what looked like clouds, or maybe fog. There were lots of dim, colored lights that looked like they were suspended in the sky. I was standing on a glossy hard wood floor and… wearing heels? I looked down at myself.

I was in a floor-length pink dress! My hair was piled on top of my head and curled. I reached up to grab a hold of a blonde lock and it felt freshly washed – an amazing feeling after the past week I’ve had. I reached over my shoulder, sweeping my hand over the bare skin until I brushed my wing. They were still there, thank God.

I must be dreaming again. This was just too weird.

“I think you look nice.” a familiar voice disagreed.

My head snapped up so fast it made me dizzy. When the room stopped spinning, I was face to face with Fang. Standing only 2 yards away, he looked amazing and… and alive. Like nothing had happened. He was dressed in black slacks and a white button up shirt, kind of like the uniforms we’d been forced to wear when we’d gone to school in Virginia, but fancier, and his wings weren’t tucked in like before.

Of all the nightmares I’d had since Fang’s death, none had been as vivid as this was, and they’d all been painful memories or frightening realities. I didn’t know what to make of this new turn of events.

“Can I have this dance?” he asked, stepping toward me. I flinched when music softly began to play, surrounding us. He smirked affectionately, the way that always made me feel light-headed. “I said, can I have this dance?” he persisted, stepping forward again and holding out his hand.

“But… I don’t… I don’t get it… I mean…”

“I know.” he said gently. “Take my hand.”

I reached out timidly, afraid that he would disappear when I touched him. Irrational, I know, but nothing was making sense right now. My hand slipped into his, and as soon as I was sure he was real, I clutched it as tight as I could, afraid to let go. He gripped mine back firmly, as if feeling the same fear. Then smiled and said in the same gentle tone, “Take a breath.”

I obeyed. He pulled me closer, pulling my other hand up to his shoulder, and then placed his on my back. “Just relax. Now take one step.” And suddenly, we were dancing. I followed him around the dance floor as we waltzed, swirling the fog around us. It was like we were floating, but I’d never danced a day in my life before, and I was sure Fang hadn’t either.

It was incredible.

He kept my eyes locked onto his as we danced. When he grinned again, I smiled back. It felt strange; I hadn’t smiled in so long. He let go long enough to spin me under his arm, but pulled me close again in an instant. When the song slowed down, I leaned my head on his shoulder and he held me closer still, his ear just barely grazing mine. I knew I was dreaming, but I didn’t want the moment to end. It felt too real. As soon as it ended, it would feel like he’d been ripped away again.

I inhaled deeply. He still smelled like Fang.

And then I was crying again. I tried to wipe the tears away, but they just kept coming. Fang pulled away and tipped my chin up so he could see my face. “It’s okay.” he said, brushing a tear away gently with his thumb.

I shook my head, not wanting to meet his eyes. I couldn’t believe I was crying in front of him – again. But this time it was about him. Not Ari dying, not a mental break down or a migraine. Him.

“Max.” he said, stroking my cheek. “Come on, Max. This isn’t you.”

I turned away and closed my eyes, a strange feeling squeezing my gut. “Nothing’s the same.” I replied bitterly, hating the way voice faltered as I said it.

“I know.” he said quietly.

“No. No, you don’t! You… left us, and now– now Angel and Gasman are… and Nudge… and Iggy was crying Fang! He was crying! And I…” I broke off, trying to resist the urge to punch even though I knew he wasn’t real. I met his eyes. They were pained. He knew how much we were hurting. “Just… how could you do this to us? Fang, I don’t know where to go from here. I just want to hide, all the time. I…” I looked away, feeling the tears forming in my eyes.

He pulled my face up again. “Max.” he said. I looked up, afraid of what I would see. “I know it’s hard, but you just need some more time. You need to let go. You don’t always have to be ‘the invincible Max’. Listen to me.” he insisted when I started to shake my head. “There is nothing wrong with moving on. The flock needs you, but you need them too, and it’s okay for them to know that. Please, Max.”

I looked into the eyes of this “dream Fang” and I knew that even though it wasn’t him, he was still right. Fang wouldn’t want to see us this way. He’d want us to keep going. To keeping fighting. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to make sure that that was exactly what we did, for Fang’s Sake. My shoulders sagged a little as I nodded in defeat. He kissed my forehead and wrapped me in a hug.

“Promise me something?”

I closed my eyes and nodded into his shoulder.

“Don’t forget me, okay?”

I shook my head, my throat tightening. No. I could never forget Fang. Not ever.

[Roxie !]

Oh my GOD!!! That was sooooo sad!!! Im so glad you found a way to still fit Fang into the story! I can't believe it, Max totally broke down! But then again, who wouldnt? AMAZING chapter. It was so sweet!

P.S.-If I had one suggestion, I think you should add a little bit of subplot! I mean, I know some things have to get said and done, but I just cant take the depressing-ness of the Fang grief much longer! -breaks down sobbing-

[le Dawnz]

Yes, twas very sweetly sad. Twas suppose to be. ^.^ Thanks! And yeah, I mean, she IS only human. And a teenager at that! HORMONES! Bound to kick in eventually right? xD Awww thanks!

-makes funny faces trying to figure out how to explain it- Well... my story isn't just like, going no where. There IS a point to all this. But yeah, I get it, very depressing. I totally get that. O.o I almost forgot! There IS a subplot to this! It sorta started to show up in this one, but only very briefly and you wouldn't have recognized it anyone. The bit where she's talking about having dreams that like, flash, that's the start of the sub plot. And I've mentioned it a couple times before, just very subtly. Don't worry, I'll put more definition to it in the next one so it won't be just totally depressing cause the next one will be a bit sad too. After that, it'll get super... angsty, but not like sad angsty, but like angry angsty. So yeah. You'll see. -grins goofy-like- You'll ALL see... muhahahahaha!! lmao

[le Dawnz]

Title: Welcome To My Life
FanFic: Maximum Ride
Setting: Smack dab in the middle. But written after having read #3. You might see references to #4 though.
Chapter: 7- Another Now
Other: We’re flying through the night, we’re flying through the night! Way UP hi-igh! lol [/random] I love that song. Anyone else just LOVE the song Check Yes Juliet? It has inspired me to write my own modern day Romeo & Juliet! Which frankly, I hated for the most part. I was totally open to it and I like it sorta (like the whole idea of it as a play) because it’s a classic, but the way my teacher described everything to us while we were reading it, it just sounds so STUPID!! I mean, Romeo sounds like a desperate moron player and Juliet sounds so gullible and emotionally unstable! Romeo was like, in love with Rosaline, and then he sees Juliet and gets a humongo CRUSH on her because he thinks she’s pretty, and she likes him because he’s handsome! And when they think they can’t be together, they like, have a mental break down instead of doing something about it! And then, when he thinks she’s dead, he kills himself, and then she kills herself, and it’s like, you killed yourself over a two-day CRUSH?? OMG.
…
Opps… My bad. lol This is about MR, not R&J. So, to continue;
This idea was originally for the chapter above, but then I got THAT idea and was like ooooooo have to use that first! It sorta pieced itself together after that. This one is more inspired by Goodbye To You than anything, and a little by Another Now, but other songs I listened to were like, Check Yes Juliet and a bunch of others that have only a little bit of relivence, but I just listened to them because I liked them. Oh, and I went back to the whole Welcome To Your Life thing, since it was the original theme song of this fan fic. I still think that it totally fits this thing, even 7 chapters in. And it will for a while. Ooooo yeah, I’ve got big plans for this FF. BIG plans. -taps fingers together evilly- Muhahahahahahaha! Suffer!
Ahem… Anyway, there’s one part in here that I’m not quite sure about, about Fang and the glass roof, I can’t remember if it was actually him or not, but since I don’t have a book handy, I’ll just pretend for now. Dawnie now presents: Chapter 7- Another Now.

Edit: My GOSH! I'm sorry guys! I didn't realize how long it got! Sorry!



“Alright, guys. Up and at ‘em.”

A series of groans was their enthusiastic reply.

“Come on guys! We’ve got stuff to do today. Gazzy, up!” I nudged him with the toe of my boot. “Nudge, Angel, come on, get up! Iggy –” He started snoring.

[/b]“Iggy, I know you’re not asleep! Get UP!”[/b] I grabbed his arm and flipped him over, as if I’d just pulled a blanket from under him. It had the intended effect.

“Oof!” He landed with a thud. When he caught his breath, he glared at me. “Gee, let’s all pick on the blind kid. It’ll be tons of fun.” he muttered sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m rolling my eyes, Iggy.”

“Max!” Nudge squealed, jumping up to hug me after waking from her usual morning trance. “Are you feeling better? You look better! You were really sick before. I was worried but Iggy said that we shouldn’t be but you looked so sick and you never get sick but – ”

“Nudge!”

“Opps. Sorry Max. Are you not feeling better?”

“No, I am. Just, be quiet for a little while, okay?”

“Oh… okay.”

Angel and Gazzy got up to give me a hug too, and Total jumped into my arms and licked my cheek. “Ugh! Salt.” he muttered, making a face I was sure was identical to mine.

Last was Iggy. He looked at me cautiously as he gave me a quick, one-armed hug. “Where’d you go last night?” he asked under his breath. I shrugged. I didn’t want to talk about it.

He stepped back. “So, where are we going for breakfast? I’m starving!” he asked, sounding more like himself. He sucked in his stomach and patted it so it looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. I just rolled my eyes again.

“Who wants to go find an IHOP?” I suggested. This time, they responded with excited whoops and howls. If only the rest of the day could be as cheerful.

* * *

After ordering 3 of everything on the menu and shoveling it down as fast as possible, we headed farther north. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for, but I knew that I’d know when I found it. I saw the flock exchanging curious looks behind me. I didn’t blame them. Aside from this morning, I hadn’t said much all afternoon, and now I was leading them God knows where to do something that I still hadn’t told any of them about.

I was momentarily blinded when an image flashed before my eyes. Just great. Jeb was going to start rambling on about coordinates and a new mission and blah blah blah. I REALLY didn’t have time for this.

But I was wrong, which I will never admit out loud. The Voice didn’t chime in to tell me what I was looking at or why. I saw a fuzzy image of the School. It was kinda shaky, but I’d recognize it anywhere. It made the acid churn in my gut. And then, just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. I frowned in frustration. What was Jeb getting at now? Did he want us to go to the School? Because if that was the case, then it would entitle a big fat NO followed closely by a big fat DUH. Then I’d smack him in the forehead and tell him that he should have had a V-8.

I rolled my eyes and kept searching for whatever it was I was looking for.

And then, there it was. The biggest tree I’d ever seen. Ever. The topmost branches of the big oak tree reached at least fifty feet, towering over the other trees which were only twenty or thirty feet high. The leaves had already changed colors for the fall, but they hadn’t fallen yet. It was perfect. I quickly surveyed the area, and when I was satisfied, I banked down toward it. The others followed without question. Even Nudge kept her mouth shut. I think they knew something was up.

The place was totally secluded. We hadn’t seen any houses or roads or towns for miles, so I was sure that no one ever came around here. Except maybe extreme hikers with access to fancy schmancy GPS mapping devices and incredible cell phone service. But I doubted anyone who could afford any of that would be hiking this far into a forest, especially without a path to guide them. Rich people tend to not like getting their hands dirty.

The Flock landed behind me and stood quietly, waiting for me to say something. I figured that now was as good a time to tell them as any. I took a deep breath and turned around to face them. “Okay. I know it’s been a little weird ever since… well, for a while now. And I know it’s been kind of hard, but I think I’ve come up with a way to hopefully make it a tiny bit easier.” Nudge and Iggy were both avoiding my eyes, staring at the ground or off into space, clearly uncomfortable with remembering the past few weeks. But Gazzy and Angel watched me carefully, looking slightly confused.

“I’ve been thinking these past couple of days that we need some closure. It’s been a while now, and we have to accept that…” I hesitated. “We have to accept that Fang is really gone.” Angel and Nudge both had tears in their eyes, and Gazzy kept sniffling. Iggy looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

I took another deep breath and realized that my throat had swollen up tightly again. “So I think – “ I paused to clear my throat. “that we should have a… a funeral.” Angel wiped her eyes and nodded. Gazzy just shuffled his feet. Iggy ruffled the little boy’s blonde hair and Nudge took Angel’s hand. Total was sniffing around Angel’s shoes as if to distract himself. And then they were all nodding. I smiled sadly. My little troopers.

I shrugged off my backpack and pulled out an empty shoe box out. I set it on the ground, then pulled out a small bundle of flowers. Two Dizzy lilies, one white Casablanca lily, two Calla lilies (one white and one pink), and one black Baccara rose. I held them out and let the Flock choose one.

The Gasman grabbed the rose before anyone else even had the chance. Angel took the two Dizzy lilies with great care, as if she was afraid she would hurt them, and gave one to Total. Nudge took the white Calla lily, and Iggy grabbed the Casablanca lily. I could have sworn I heard him mutter, “A pink flower? Yeah right. No way I’m putting a pink flower on Fang’s grave. He’d kill me if I didn’t die of embarrassment first.”

I smiled and looked down at the pink Calla lily left in my hand. I picked up the box and walked over to the base of the tall tree. Lifting the lid, I positioned the box on the ground and drew a piece of paper out of my pocket. I unfolded it and a picture was revealed on the inside. There stood the whole Flock, all together, in a salon in New York. It had been taken right after we’d gotten total makeovers to disguise ourselves.

In the photo, Angel and Gazzy looked very pleased with their new look. Iggy posed casually with his hands tucked into his pockets, and Nudge smiled brightly into the camera. I had my arms folded and was smirking slyly. Very me. Fang also had his arms crossed, but he was rolling his eyes instead. And even though he wasn’t really smiling, he had a strange look of satisfaction. But as I looked at the picture, I realized that it wasn’t his makeover he was satisfied with. It was the satisfaction that came with knowing that his family was together, happy, and safe for the time being. I could feel the tears forming behind my eyes, but I didn’t cry. I was done crying.

I placed it in the box gently and stepped back, glancing around at the flock. I didn’t want to ask them to put something inside if they didn’t want to, but I was giving them the option. Angel looked thoughtful for a second, then stepped forward and dropped something into the box. It landed with a small plop. I glanced into the box and saw a small white button, then looked at Angel curiously.

“It’s my lucky button. It fell off of Celeste’s dress a long time ago, and I kept it in my pocket.” I smiled and brushed a lock of her blonde hair away from her face.

“I’m sure he’d love it, sweetie.” She smiled back and went back to stand between Total and the Gasman, who was scratching the back of his head in thought. Nudge squinted her eyes thoughtfully, and her face brightened up suddenly. She reached up and unpinned a barrette from her hair. Then she stepped forward to place it in the box.

“My favorite barrette.” she explained. I nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. Iggy was fingering the gold hoop in his ear, the one he had gotten in New York before I’d had the chance to notice. After a minute of twiddling with it, he undid the clasp and dropped it into the box. Then stepped back without a word. I lifted his hand to my face so he would know I was smiling.

Gazzy looked frustrated now, but I waited patiently. It was worth it to see his face light up, suddenly excited. He pulled his backpack off and unzipped it. After digging around, he tugged out an old torn-out newspaper ad. It was yellow around the edge and stained with coffee and juice. He brought it over to the box and showed it to me. It wasn’t an ad after all. It was an old, blurry picture of us jumping off a table in a fancy restaurant in New York after the manager had tried to throw us out. Fang had shot straight through the glass roof so we could all escape.

I ruffled the Gasman’s hair and put it in the shoebox, then replaced the lid. I stepped back among the ranks of my Flock. “Anyone want to go first?” I asked gently. Nudge went to put her flower on top of the box.

“I’m going to miss you Fang, a lot. I already miss you, actually. I’ll never forget the time that you helped me try to find my mom when we were in Arizona, and then Ari attacked, and we spray painted his hair green.” She smiled, remembering how long Ari’s hair had stayed that way after that. “It was annoying when you tried to tell me that we were eating possums or rats and stuff like that, but I wouldn’t mind it anymore if you could be here again. But I know you can’t, and that’s not your fault.” She stopped. Her gorgeous brown eyes shimmered as the tears began to spill over. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say more, then closed it again and made a choking sound. I wrapped my arm around her and she laid her head on my shoulder.

Angel came up next, delicately placing her Dizzy lily across Nudge’s, then helping Total with his. “We’re all going to miss you so much, Fang. I mean, you and Max took care of us and taught us stuff. And you let me keep Total. And if Max didn’t want to go to a carnival or something, you’d talk her into it so we could go have fun.” I rolled my eyes at this point. I wasn’t that much of a kill-joy. “I know you can’t come back, but I still wish you could.” She sniffled and stepped back to hold my hand. I squeezed it reassuringly.

“This sucks. It really does. I didn’t even get to teach you how to paint landscapes like I said I would. I’m sorry about that.” I had a feeling Fang didn’t care all that much about not learning how to paint landscapes before he died. Anyway, how a dog could paint landscapes was beyond me.

Iggy put his flower on top of the others with perfect precision, as always, stood for a few seconds, then stepped back. If Iggy had something to say, he sure didn’t want to say it in front of us. But I was sure he probably said it in his head.

The Gasman looked down at his flower, then squeezed it between all the flowers so it was in the center. “I know it’s not your fault you died, it’s those stupid whitecoats and the school and whoever else is always chasing us, but I’ll look after Max and Angel and Nudge for you. And help Iggy build big bombs to take out the bad guys. And try to stay out of trouble.” I secretly wondered how long that would last.

Finally, it was my turn. As I paced forward, I remembered the last funeral I’d gone to. I’d been so stricken that Fang had had to speak for me. Well, Fang wasn’t here to rescue me this time.
“Fang was our rock. He was always there, strong and silent. Always pulling us out, always holding us up. He could be incredibly annoying sometimes, but he wouldn’t really be Fang if he wasn’t. He brought out the best and the worst in us, and taught us how to watch the hawks and learn how they maneuver. And as much as I hate to admit it,” And I really hated to admit it. “his blog really helped us Germany. We’re all going to miss him, more than he’ll ever know, but we’ll survive, because that’s what Fang would want. He would want us to move on and keep on fighting. But just because we’re moving on, doesn’t mean we’ll forget. We’ll never forget.”

My eyes hurt from trying to hold back the tears building behind my eyes. I thought of a song I had heard many times when we’d lived in our mountain home in Colorado.

The artist had sang, Of all the things I believed in, I just want to get it over with. Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry. Countin’ the days that pass me by…

I saw just how well that song fit my life at that moment.

I’ve been searchin’ deep down in my soul. Words that I’m hearin’ are startin’ to get old. Feels like I’m startin’ all over again, the last three years were just pretend. And I said, goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold on to…

I turned around and was faced with many grimy, tear-streaked faces. Nudge and Angel were huddled together, using each other for support. Gazzy was knelt down on the ground wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve next to Total, who was opening balling his eyes out. Iggy was looking away, sniffling a little, but not crying.

I turned back again. “We’re going to really, really miss you Fang.” I whispered, looking closely at the pink Calla lily in my hand. “If you’re out there, watching, if you can hear me, I’ll make sure they keep fighting. We’ll be okay. And we’ll never forget. I promise.” A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye, but I caught it before it could slid down my cheek. I dropped the lily and let it float to the ground. It landed with the rest of the flowers.

Looking at the bouquet, I was reminded of the Flock, and how different we all were. Fang was the black rose, for obvious reasons. Iggy was the Casablanca lily, tall and white and dramatic. I was the white Calla flower, simple, plain. Angel and Gazzy were the Dizzy lilies. Colorful and loud. And Nudge was the pink Calla flower, pretty and bright. One of the Dizzy lily’s petals had wilted and fallen across the stems of the bundle of flowers. That was Total, always looking to protect us no matter how little help he might actually be. I took a deep breath, then spun around slowly, turning my back to the tree.

“Okay guys, who wants to get something to eat?” They all smiled sadly and nodded. I held out my arms and motioned for them to come closer. Nudge and Angel were in my arms in a flash. They actually knocked the breath out of me! Gazzy and Total both came next, and finally, Iggy joined in, but only for a minute. When they were done crushing me, we unfurled our wings and launched into the air. And as we flew, I thought of another song. A favorite of mine from a long time ago. Years and years ago. I listened to it play inside my head as we searched for the nearest McDonalds.


It was only just the other day
When all this felt so real,
Like nothing could go wrong.
It was like a never-ending dream,
Nothing ever changed
For so long.
But now you've
Gone away,
And I've tried
Turning the page,
And it's just not the same.
But I'm breathin' in,
And I'm breathin' out.
I'm wide awake but I can't hear a sound.
I'm breathin' in,
I can't think about
Another you,
Another me,
Another now.

[/size][/blockquote]

[Roxie !]

AWWWW!!! Omg!! This was the best chapter yet!! I loved having some insight of the rest of the Flock's grief. You played that out really well, and they were all in character. The funeral thing was a great idea, because they all needed closer, and it was very them. Most of all, PROPS to you for the flower symbolism. That was really creative.

Update soon!

[le Dawnz]

Omg. I am so anal retentive. The little orange bar on the bottom of the screen telling me that someone is trying to talk to my dad on MSN is annoying the crap outta me!

Title: Welcome To My Life
FanFic: Maximum Ride
Setting: Smack dab in the middle. But written after having read #3. You might see references to #4 though.
Chapter: 8- When It All Falls Apart
Other: Wow. This one is taking a while. I used up so much of my muse writing those last two, and now I don’t know how I’m suppose to jump from then to the future. I need a now! Huh… Well, here it goes.
Okay, this is so weird. I didn’t listen to ANY music (except music in the movie Mulan in the background cause it was on TV) while writing this. Soooooo strange. But I’ve been listening to a lot of Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, and The Veronicas lately, so I think those probably had the most influence. But oh! I found a song I want to use again. But darn it all, it means I need another depressing chapter! That doesn’t fit in… I’ll find something to do with it. Anyway, not as… interesting as the other chapters (or anywhere as decent as the others, my writing is so off in this one in my opinion), but it’s just a place holder, and it sets up for the subplot. Can anyone guess what’s going on in my head? Lmao. Well, enjoy!



One. Two. Three. Three days. Today, we’re in Nevada. We move fast. Especially when we don’t know where we’re going. Today, I’m sitting in a tree, one leg propped up, one dangling, my arms behind my head as I stare off into space. What now, you may ask? I wish I knew.

The funeral had put the nightmares to rest. For the most part at least. I could fall asleep safely knowing I wouldn’t see the light fade from Fang’s eyes or his body lying on a steel table. But now those crazy… flashing dreams had become more consistent. I get them every time I close my eyes! It’s so frustrating! I just wished I knew what any of them meant.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to fall asleep. Maybe if I saw them again, I’d be able to piece some of it together. It was a long shot, but I didn’t know what else to do. Iggy was on watch anyway.

True to form, the flashes returned. They kept getting fuzzier, as if their strength was fading. A lot of them were flashes of trees, sanitized rooms with test tubes and needles, and even the School. There was nothing uniform about the order of the images. Nothing relevant to anything I’d seen for a long, long time. Maybe the rooms I kept seeing were rooms at the School. I was sure there were rooms we’d never been in before.

And the trees… The School was surrounded by miles and miles of forest. A few of the pictures looked like they could be from that area, but some didn’t match up at all. In fact, they looked a little like the trees around Mom’s house in… in Arizona.

Maybe… no, that made no sense. We’d been way to careful about involving Ella and my mom. Besides, even if something had happened to them, why would I be getting visions about it?

What am I missing?! I asked, hoping Jeb was getting tired of his ‘silent treatment’ act. Just because I’d told him to beat it didn’t mean he had the right to keep things like this from me, especially considering the circumstances. Ugh. I still couldn’t believe we were in the same gene pool.

Well, the Voice didn’t return. In fact, the pictures just started flashing faster. Why wasn’t it saying anything? I wasn’t sure how Jeb did it, so maybe we’re in some dead zone or something. But still, it’d have to be a pretty big dead zone…

And then it clicked. Jeb!

It must be Jeb trying to stick something in my head. But why didn’t he just explain instead of using fuzzy pictures? Because Jeb never explains ANYTHING. But maybe it was more than that.

I opened my eyes and glared straight ahead. I could feel the creases in my forehead giving me a headache. In the morning, I needed to find a phone.


* * *

“Mom?”

“Max? Max, is that you? Where are you? We’ve been so worried! What with Jeb storming out and talking about–”

“Mom, chill out. Just calm down okay?”

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been so worried. Jeb started saying something about an attack, and that something happened.”

“What was weeks ago, Mom.”

“Why do you think I’m such a wreck!”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I should have called. We’ve just been a little… distracted lately.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Have there been more attacks?”

“No. There weren’t anymore attacks.” I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. I decided to avoid telling her about Fang. For now, at least. Besides, I had a reason for calling her besides just checking in. “Mom? Is Jeb there?”

“Jeb? No. He left a couple weeks ago, just after he said those robot wolf things had attacked you guys. I assumed he’d gone out to find you. Why do you ask?”

My heart skipped a beat. “So you haven’t seen since the day we fought the Flyboys?”

“No, why? What’s wrong?”

“Ooohhhh.” I groaned. This is why Jeb had been giving me the cold shoulder. He wasn’t ignoring me. He couldn’t talk to me…

But he was trying! That was what the flashes were about! He was trying to tell me something, but something was preventing him from actually telling me.

“Max! What’s wrong?” Mom insisted.

“I just… needed to ask him something. But he’s not there so I guess I’ll–“

“Max, please? I can tell that something is wrong. You don’t sound like yourself. Are you hurt? Is somebody hurt?”

I cleared my throat. “Um, yeah. We’re all kind of hurting a bit.” I said quietly, looking over my shoulder at the Flock. They were all seated in a diner booth across the street.

“What happened? Where are you all hurt? Where are you guys? I’m coming there, and I’ll bring all my equipment. Just tell me what’s–“

“No, Mom. That’s not it. It’s just that… we’re all hurting a little on the inside. It’s getting better though.”

“Oh honey, what happened? Please, Max, tell me.”

I took a long breath. “Uh… well… at the battle – that one that Jeb was talking about – well… not all of us… made it out okay.” I paused. Mom remained silent. “Fang… he… he was…” I couldn’t get the words out. It was so different talking to my mom than it was talking to the Flock. But she stayed quiet, waiting for me to finish before freaking out. “He was shot, Mom.”

She gasped. “Oh, Max! Is he okay? Do you need help–“

“No, Mom! He was shot, and he didn’t make it. Fang is… he’s gone, Mom.”

Silence. “Oh! Oh honey! Sweetheart, I’m so sorry! I only wish I’d known! You must be… and the Flock! Oh, I’m so sorry…” I wish she was there so I could hug her.

“Me too.”

She hesitated. I could hear her taking deep breaths. “Why don’t you guys come here? Just for a little while? I know you can’t stay long but… just for a few days. Or as long as you like!”

“I don’t know, Mom. Maybe. I think there might be something we have to look into, but I’ll ask them.”

“I miss you. Ella does too.”

“I miss you guys too. Give Ella a hug for me.”

“Okay, Max. Call soon, okay?” Then she added, “I’m sorry. I know it’s hard, but it’ll get better soon. I promise.”

“I know. It’s getting a little easier already. Love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too. Take care.”

“We will.” I promised. Then I hung the phone up.

[Roxie !]

DUDE.
Your Icon.
It's scary -is hyperventilating-
Anywaaaaayyyy xDD. Love this chapter!! Though now I'm so confused as to what those flashy things mean. Good thing Max isn't prone to seizures =P. And you've gotta love Max's mom, she's just so sweet xD. And Jeb...ugh. Can't keep his nose outta trouble.

Update soon!!