...Wandering of an Outsider...

[squee.]

She didn’t belong here, in Shadowclan, in this forest or even in this region of land for that matter. She belonged in a mansion with an elder human, knowing nothing of the four clans of a Starclan or of any other clan for that matter….well at least that’s what many have told her since her apprenticeship in Shadowclan. It wasn’t only Shadowclan that had told her these either, members of all clans and even a few loners have told her off, have reminded her of being an outsider to Shadowclan; almost as if she’d ever forget she didn’t belong her. Just one glance at her would tell anyone she didn’t belong in a forest, carrying the markings of stars and a moon on her back with paint that could only grow out and that could take countless years. It was sad really, she had once loved these markings and now everyday, she waded into the creek and tried to wash them off and still they haven’t even faded. But her looks weren’t the only thing that held her apart of the cats of this region; she also carried some sort of accent. Sounding different from every cat in this forest and the forests beyond this one, saying ‘ye’ in place of ‘you’ and countless other little flaws that made up Twilight. She was so different from any cat here, yet she was still a cat wasn’t she? She still had cat blood coursing through her veins and yet no cat in her clan could see this! In reply to those thoughts, she let out a long, nearly inaudible sigh. Why couldn’t she just be like them? Why couldn’t she just be another cat in Shadowclan? Why was she forced to carry the curse that was known as her past along with her where ever she fled? Even Starclan couldn’t answer these questions, and if they could they have all chosen to remain completely silent about it…leaving Twilight in the dark again, blindly searching for any light that would answers to these countless questions. But every time she thought she had an answer, it turns into more questions.

Pawsteps remained completely silent against the soft undergrowth of the forest, despite her features the female had remained invisible to prey and any passing warriors of Shadowclan. Almost as if she was a ghost haunting these lands alone, and that she didn’t mind either although she loved the company of other cats, she hated being the outsider of everything. She hated being left in the dark about every little bit of information. All of this grew worse once Shadowclan had found out about her brother, Lunar the murderous Bloodclan warrior. Since that moment, Shadowclan watched her with narrowed eyes and many Shadowclan warriors still hesitated to tell her clan news or hints of weakness amongst other clans for fear she’d run off and tell her brother. For this, Twilight grew further and further away from her own clan until she reached the point of feeling like a loner surrounded by enemies. But she didn’t leave this clan. No, she needed them and they needed her. Besides, not all of Shadowclan was bad to her. A few warriors have actually warmed up to her to the point where she could claim them as friends. She only needed more time with this clan to learn the names of these warriors and to learn whether they’d be willing to accept a kittypet into their ranks. She hoped so. With all of her heart, she hoped that the rest of Shadowclan would be willing to accept her as one of them eventually. After all, she’d never return to being a kittypet as long as she lived and as for her brother….he was dead to her. She would kill him if he ever dared to show himself to her again. No Bloodclan warrior was to be trusted, blood ties or not. She wouldn’t stand to see the murder live if she ever had the chance to meet her brother face to face again. Violence or not, he deserved a thousand deaths. He was a coward, murdering under the cover of Bloodclan. Killing the hopeless for enjoyment. Cats like him were why every other cat suffered and held bad names against each other.


Another soft sigh escaped the femme’s maw as she lifted her muzzle to the soft indigo skies above, though most of the stars were blocked out by the thick canopy covering the Shadowed Forest, bright stars and a white moon shone through the thick mixture branches and leaves. Amber gaze twinkled and danced with the stars above her head, her right paw lifting off the ground as she strained for a better look. She loved the sight of a night sky, for some unknown reason she felt as if looking into the stars could some how erase her thoughts of her troubled past and problems of fitting in with Shadowclan. Unfortunately, stargazing only held off her problems until she wasn’t focusing on something else…then those thoughts were free to creep back into her thoughts plaguing her. She knew she’d never be seen as a normal member of Shadowclan, or of any clan for that matter. She knew her markings and her past would always plague her no matter how fast or how far she fled away from reality. She’d just have to accept these challenges and overcome them one day at a time. Right? But in all reality could one overcome these taking things just one step at a time? Could one really just forget about not fitting in? Of course not. These thoughts would taint one’s mind until one actually lost their mind or forgot everything completely. Hopefully, if she ran fast enough and didn’t stop her past and problems would stay just one step behind her.

She couldn’t run forever.

And she knew this too, she just refused to think of it. The soft amber gaze fell back to the lands before her, scanning them for any signs of life. Just as she thought, most of Shadowclan were tucked away in their nests at such a time. She should be there too but she needed these midnight walks. And so, with ears pricking forward again...Twilight began her lonely journey. Preparing to take everything just one step at a time and flee from her past the best she could.

[Roxie !]

Deep green eyes scanned the creek's northern bay intently, searching for any signs of movement to be found there. A slender, lithe body crouched, lurking deep within the shadows, claws flexing into the ground. To some ignorant creature, take a Two-leg, the shadowed creature may have looked ghost-like or sinister. But she was a feline, and proud to be one. Now, this feline scanned her Clan's territory in silence. Brown ears flicked in every direction, listening for the sounds of the forest all around her. Sandstorm, a proud warrior of ShadowClan, hadn't been able to sleep. She was restless, eager for any kind of action. So, why not kill two birds with one stone? Hunting was a way to wear this restless energy out, and serve ShadowClan as well.

Finally, movement caught her eyes. Instantly, her glowing green gaze switched to the source, and there, near the water, was a small white rabbit. It sniffed the banks quietly, oblivious to Sandstorm's presence. The she-cat was pleased. Rabbits were easily nocturnal prey, and one of the larger game that the forest carried. Such prey had been hard to come by lately, but the forest was visibly beginning to thaw with the coming of New-Leaf. As she pondered how to approach it from here, Sandstorm crouched low to the ground in wait. One careless move, and the rabbit would easily scent her. However, before she could move, it did.

The rabbit's nose and whiskers quivered, its glassy eyes clearly widening and reflecting the moonlight. It raised a sleek white body onto its long hind-legs, over-sized ears twitching. It had been alerted to someone, but not Sandstorm, for in a panic, it fled...toward her. The she-cat only remained confused for a moment, for as it neared her, she leaped from her hiding place among the ferns. Claws met soft pelt not yet shedded from Leaf-Bare as Sandstorm brought the creature into a quiet struggle that was soon ended. The speckled she-cat pinned it, and with a quick bite to the neck, ended the struggle between predator and prey.

In silent satisfaction, Sandstorm stepped away. She quietly thanked StarClan for her luck, and the rabbit's spirit for its sacrifice to ShadowClan. However, she did not pick it up and drag it back to camp just yet. Another matter had caught her attention. Curiously, Sandstorm turned to see what or who had spooked the prey in the first place. And sure enough, by now, a black-and-white she-cat walked silently down the slopes of the bank. Sandstorm instantly recognized the uniquely starred pelt, and relaxed at the sight. Twilight was a ShadowClan warrior, not by birth, but Sandstorm herself had WindClan blood in her. She trusted the warrior despite the views of some others. Padding toward her, Sandstorm tilted her head slightly.

"Hey, Twilight,"

She whispered.

[le Dawnz]

>>Hey look! Actual roleplaying!

Okay. Ish done now. -leaves thread in peace to continue-

[squee.]

Soft amber gaze snapped from the lands before her to her right flanking side, hearing the light steps of paws across forest floor that was shortly followed by a scuffle that obviously ended. The smaller animal that she had heard earlier had lost the battle, paying with its life whilst the larger animal revealed itself, stepping from the denser shadows the ferns, shrubs and other plants dwelling on the forest floor were casting. Eyes narrowed momentarily in slight interest, half expecting some predator animal that was out scooping up the clan’s prey. It was then that Twilight realized the scent of cat and Shadowclan, still half new to this clan she didn’t know each cat’s individual scent quite yet and although the scent was that of the clan she called home, the femme still remained tense. The way she saw things, this could go either way. If luck was shining upon her tonight, she’d meet some Shadowclanner that wouldn’t bombard her with suspicions followed by countless ways of questioning her out here and then her loyalty. And if luck had decided to hide itself from her, she’d get some warrior that saw her as a Bloodclanner’s sister or a kitty-pet not Twilight of Shadowclan. But this wouldn’t stop there either. Shadowclan had a mere deputy to keep things in order. Only a deputy to hold chaos and disorder at bay and every clan knew that no clan could thrive with just a mere deputy to keep the order. Thoughts of this had filled her mind again as Twilights brows furrowed. Then the same question she had asked countless times before reared again, Did the other clans have problems such as these? Of course, this thought should have never even crossed her head. If they did, that only meant violence would soon break out and blood would be shed....causing more problems.

Soon, the world around her dissipated completely and she was left alone to let her thoughts settle themselves again before she could continue home. Already, she had forgotten of the other cat wandering the forest this starry night. The sound of a voice had made her world disappear completely, shattering like a window or mirror. The voice was rough and had a wicked tone to it….and it still it carried the same accent as her. Just the sound of the voice had made her ears pin back to her head, and claws unsheathe slightly. Her brother! The only cat she had learned to trust over the moons and the very same cat that promised to be there for her and the list continues. Still, these promises didn’t hold the tom back as he left her alone in the barn the two shared. They didn’t stop him from proving himself to Bloodclan by bringing four dead warriors to them, all so mangled that their identities remained unknown. They didn’t stop him from turning against Twilight, offering her a position in Bloodclan or death. Of course, she had chosen death but at the last minute a clan emergency was called and Lunar was shipped away leaving a bloody Twilight to think her life over…..leaving nothing but memories and pain behind. Through all of this, she still couldn’t admit that she hated the tom. She still couldn’t bring herself to say it, even if she’d attack him the moment he stepped paw inside of Shadowclan grounds. No. She still loved her older brother, no matter the evil deeds and orders he carried out for Bloodclan. Nothing he could do could erase the memories he had left behind. Memories would fade, yes but they will always be there. They are burned into one’s mind, like a scar to remind one that the past was real. That the pain the suffered, the joy they felt, the tears and blood they shed, the ones the lost and loved were all there at some point in time. Living things grew old and died, young things were killed off to make room for new and the old….this was the way of life, this was the only thing that would tie humans and animals together they all felt pain, all felt joy, shed blood and tears, fought for survival in one way or another and they all died. They were all vulnerable to everything around them. And they would eventually die, leaving nothing but memories to scar the ones they knew and loved.

Her brother’s voice was that scar, that memory that still lingered in her thoughts. And yet, the sound of another’s voice was what had snapped her from her world of thoughts to the world again, had dulled the pain of that lingering scar. At first she hadn’t recognized the source of the voice, but as the shattered world around her began to piece back together one by one, she had seen that the Shadowclan warrior she had scented earlier now stood a mere fox-length ahead of her and a dead rabbit, lay on the ground a bit further from that. Ah, the source of the scuffle she had heard amongst the brush earlier. Luck had indeed shone upon her that night, as Twilight’s vision cleared again to see the familiar pelt of Sandstorm there. The warrior had only mewed a greeting, not a question and her expression held no look of suspicion. Good. Twilight had learned Sandstorm as an ally in Shadowclan; she had found the warrior a friend. She gave Sandstorm a curt nod and in return mewed her own greeting.

“Good evening Sandstorm”

Her greeting short, for there wasn't really a need for a long greeting nor much of any other words for that matter. Her tone just as warm as the afternoon sun, as always. Her words still holding a light accent of her distant lands. After all Twilight came from a city, miles and miles away from here. The cats she had met there were known as gangs, not clans and the cats there were stronger in return they were slower and louder. And there they ate from garages and alleyways. Not to mention there were much more members then that of the clans here and they followed the North Star Gang, instead of Starclan. After this greeting, the she-cat sat down, her long black tail wrapping neatly around her front paws and body. Her amber gaze locking on the pelt of Sandstorm as she waited. Still half expecting suspcion to shine in the warrior's gaze and still she saw none.

[squee.]

((BUMPITH and wow....too much rambling in my posts.....))

[Roxie !]

OOC//Dundundun! I finally make an appearance xD! And I know! Today, I'm museless though, so this one'll suck.

IC// With a brief glance around the darkened clearing, Sandstorm blinked calmly and sat down, her speckled tan tail sweeping the dusty ground and settling to wrap around her paws as she did so. Her ears twitched occasionally, curiously picking up the sounds from behind her. Not that Sandstorm was particularly paranoid, but there were creatures, nocturnal creatures that lurked in the depths of the shadowy forest and could easily expect to prey on the felines that lived there. Foxes, owls...the list went on. But although she kept a wary ear flicked back to pick up any signs of approach from behind her, Sandstorm's green eyes were fixed curiously on Twilight. She knew the warrior to have once been a kitty-pet, but didn't have any quarrel with the fact. As far as she was concerned, Twilight had proved herself, and Sandstorm trusted her as much as any warrior of the small clan.

She shifted her position, her head tilted slightly. "So, how've you been?" She asked, her tone matching the other ShadowClanner's warm one.

OOC//See? Uch. ><

[squee.]

Ears pricked forward again and soft amber gaze narrowed in the slightest hint of confusion. Although the dappled warrior ahead of her could be counted as a friend, perhaps her only friend in Shadowclan at that but Twilight had never realized the extent of thier friendship. And because of this, she had expected some sort of questioning her purpose out here so late hidden by some fake smile and a hint of forced warmth, but there was no trace of questioning in Sandstorm's voice. In fact, the warmth in her voice sounded genuinely warm almost reflecting her very own voice. Though shocked by the devoid of suspicious questioning, she also felt better knowing that at least one cat in Shadowclan could trust her- and she could trust in return. For a momentTwilight felt, for once in the two moons she's been with the clan, a part of Shadowclan. An actual warrior that had friends and family in the clan, one that could hunt and run without having others watch her waiting for her to prove herself. But she knew better. Twilight would never be a part of Shadowclan- while at least not the way she wished for. No matter how many times she proved herself, she was a kitty-pet in many's eyes and her brother being in Bloodclan proved another story. She could never escape her past, or her bloodline.

"Great, how about you?"

She meowed. Though that would be a lie, she hid it well. She hadn't been anywhere near great since being in Shadowclan, not while she exhausted herself trying to prove herself to this clan. But she wasn't about to tell anyone that, even if she trusted them with anything else. She wasn't going to complain about it, no, she would work hard enough until tell she finally proved herself.

[Roxie !]

<sub>Sandstorm gave a nod of acceptance to Twilight's answer, but didn't question it. Since the black-and-white femme's arrival in ShadowClan, there had been a few situations that Sandstorm knew had been a little, if not completely, awkward for her. To this day, there were a few cats that still discriminated against Twilight, and it was one of the many things that irritated the slightly hot-headed speckled brown she-cat. Sandstorm just couldn't understand...why, even when Twilight had proved herself to the Clan many a time, couldn't anyone see past her birthplace? Sometimes, she wondered how Twilight could stand it. But, perhaps the she-cat really was finding her place here, and finally clicking with the clan. Sandstorm smiled.

"I'm alright," She mewed truthfully, shrugging slightly. "I expect I'll be even better when Newleaf finally makes its complete appearance." Amusement danced in her green eyes as she glanced over at the woodland area behind the creek, with still held traces of melting snow. Too long had she missed Green-Leaf's warmth and ease of life, and too long had the forest lost those privileges to the cold hardships of Leaf-Fall, and then, eventually, Leaf-Bare. It was time four all four Clans, ShadowClan in particular, to flourish again.

Green eyes flickered briefly to the raised moon in its place in the sky, before she added with a sigh, "I can't sleep a wink, though."</sub>

[le Dawnz]

-bumps even though I ish not in this thread... maybe I should be!-