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Post by le Dawnz on Feb 10, 2007 16:07:41 GMT -5
One night...Thrashing, claws, fangs, but there's a star...
And then the next...Fur, blood, darkness, the light has gotten stronger...
And the next...I can't breath, Dad, BloodClan, the light...
And the next...Mom, Leafwhisper, death, the light is growing...
And the next...The stench, the pain, Massie, can't break free, no Dad! Mom! Leafwhisper help! Stop! I can't... I can't! The light erupted, I can't see them. I can't see... Mikkikko's body jolted as his eyes flew open, gasping for air and lifting his head in fear and shock. What was the bright light? Was it the one doing this to him? They were driving him over the edge who ever they were! It clicked in his mind who the light must be. Who it had to be. Who it was. StarClan. The ruddy tom-cat bolted from the spot beside his sleeping mate, jumping clean over her still body and racing out the door. Down the hill he sprinted until he thought he was a safe enough distance away from the barn. Halting, he angrily, and a bit intimidated, looked up at the starry night sky. "I know you're there! You really exist!" he shouted to the heavens he'd always thought empty. "I believe in you now! Tell me! Tell me please! Why are you doing this to me?! Why?!" He glared up at the sky, unable to hold his anger and frustration back. "Answer me if you're up there! Why?! Answer me!!" His rage sent signals from his brain to every point in his body. Sweat covered his heaving sides as he breathed unevenly fast, drying out his throat. He stared up at the stars for a good long while. Waiting for some sign. He knew they had something to do with it. They had to. Who else could be sending him these reaccuring nightmares that were driving him down the cascading mountainous cliffs? Soon he knew that if they didn't stop, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from flinging himself over them willingly. He wanted it to end. He wanted all the pain he was suffering to stop before it got to Massie. Finally after it seemed he'd stood out there frozen in time for an enternity of waiting, he lowered his gaze to the ground. He wasn't going to get an answer from them. And he didn't know what to do. He let his tail hang low to the ground as he sauntered back toward the barn, unaware that his shouting might have woken his beloved Massie. He stopped at the door. Then curled up just inside it beside the wall. But he didn't fall asleep. He just stared out into the forest surrounding them. Sleep never came.[/center]
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Post by Roxie ! on Feb 10, 2007 22:18:44 GMT -5
She hadn't gotten a very good night's sleep anyway so far, so Massie didn't complain much when she was awoken. Not by Mikkikko's screams, though. Her hazy green eyes had initially flickered open when the brute had leaped over her, and carried on into the fields. She'd always been a light sleeper, And even her mate's movement from beside her had stirred the femme. But for a moment, Massie lay very still, her eyes closing as soon as they had opened. She didn't want to follow him, to see Mikkikko fall apart again. The loner had told herself that he was merely going for a walk. And so, she didn't move...until his yowls reached her.
Calico harks pricked instinctively, her leaf-green optics fluttering open immediately. Mikkikko sounded far away, so very far away, in more ways than one. But she could still make out the words that he yowled,
"I know you're there! You really exist!"I believe in you now! Tell me! Tell me please! Why are you doing this to me?! Why?!"
Massie rose to her paws so that she was now in a sitting position, confused by this. Who was he talking to? And then, it clicked. Surely not...StarClan?
"Answer me if you're up there! Why?! Answer me!"
Pain lit her light green eyes for more reasons than one. It was tearing the femme apart to see her mate like this. Couldn't he see that it hurt her more to see him suffer, to watch and pretend she didn't notice what he was hiding, than it ever would for him to just confide in her? At least then, she could actually, normally, worry. This...this was worse, more intense than worry. It edged on fear for what Mikkikko was going through, and what it was doing to him.
And what was more...StarClan?! Since when? Massie had never been sure of what she believed. But there had always been this unquestionable faith--not necessarily in StarClan, but in some sort of afterlife, or fate, or maybe even someone looking out for her. And then, that night, when Mikkikko had defied them and the very idea of said fate, Massie had wondered if she'd been fooling herself the whole time. In fact, she had refused to think about it. Lately, she had built her defense. Death was the end. There was nothing after it, and if felt horrible, as if she had been sucked back to 'reality'. She had even gone into Clan territory to find those answers, although a lot of good it did her. The one cat that might've been able to help, their medicine cat so to speak, had practically driven her out. So Mikkikko was bringing this up again? Why?
"Stop it..." Massie closed her eyes tightly, the statement a bit louder than she had intended. She willed Mikkikko not to say anything else, for now, she didn't know what to believe. But when those opticals opened again, it was only to spot Mikkikko's rust-coloured pelt behind the barn door. Right now, Massie just didn't have the strength to try and comfort him, and watch as it did absolutely no good. All of her life, Massie had been a strong cat. An independent cat. And now, she was powerless. Massie hated that feeling. So right now, she just wanted to take a walk, to sort out her thoughts. But...she couldn't just leave her mate. Not now. And so, with a sigh, Massie wearily padded over to the scene, stopping a tentative few fox-lengths away.
"Mikkikko...please don't do this."
She wasn't going to avoid anymore, or pretend that this problem didn't exist. Denying reality had only gotten her hurt. |
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Post by le Dawnz on Feb 13, 2007 20:03:29 GMT -5
>>Short, museless post.
Mikkikko flicked his ears and glanced his mates way in surprise, not having realized she was awake. Then he heard her words. Raising his head, he narrowed his eyes and tilted his ears. "Don't do what?" he asked, his voice raspy because of his dry throat. He honestly didn't have a clue, did he? He didn't seem to realize that as much as he tried to spare Massie, she was still suffering just as much as he. He wanted to keep her safe from it all, but it didn't seem to be working at all. He saw the pain in her eyes, but he knew it was related to his problems. Worry clutched his gut that the thing after him had started after her too. But her gaze told a diffrent story. |
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Post by Roxie ! on Feb 13, 2007 20:29:38 GMT -5
At his answer, Massie's eyes narrowed slightly. "Don't do what"?! How could he not know? Giving her pelt a brisk shake, she turned away, instinctively avoiding Mikkikko's gaze now. Her calico tail didn't flick or twitch as it usually did, but merely lay limply on the ground. Her harks flattened to her head, and for a long moment, the femme didn't speak. She couldn't do this anymore. Couldn't watch her mate suffer. But what could she do to make Mikkikko be straight with her? Frustration began to build in the loner, but none of it showed in her gaze. Getting angry would only make things worse.
"Don't make yourself suffer like this. It...it hurts to see you like this, Mikkikko. And I don't even know your reasons behind whatever this is. I want to try to understand but...I don't even know what's going on with you." She meowed softly, suddenly finding herself spilling her worries to the brute. But still, Massie's voice remained low and calm, as if there was something fragile in the air that she didn't want to break. |
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Post by le Dawnz on Feb 13, 2007 20:48:38 GMT -5
Finally. Mikkikko flattened his ears and looked at the dirt covered ground beside his paws as his mate finally filled him in. Up until know, he hadn't known how much all of this had been hurting her too. He wanted nothing more the to crawl beside her, bury his nose in her fur, and let her comfort him like he was a kit again. And for a cat like Mikkikko, that was saying a lot. He wanted to tell her what was that matter. What was troubling him so much. But now that he really thought about it, he wasn't exactly sure himself. When the dreams had first started coming, he had been strong, quiet, and proud. The fist would probably scare the crap out of him, and then he would brush it off and carry on like nothing had happened. That's what he used to do. So why was he dwelling? What drove him back? He shook his head in wonder and gazed back at him mate, whom was still waiting for his reply. It was then he knew what was going to happen next. He knew what he had to do in order to stop the suffering, of both him and his mate. And he was going to do it, the sooner the better.
He gazed at her full on, straight into her glistening eyes the way he had used to. She's so beautiful. he thought. She'll move on quickly. "I'm sorry." he said softly, sitting up. "Please don't worry anymore. I'm... I will be fine. We'll both be fine soon." he promised, leaning forward to lick her cheek. Then hesitated before pulling back, breathing in the warm scent of her patched fur. Standing, he blinked, almost sadly, but regained the posture and expression he'd once used what seemed so long ago. And then he left, without giving Massie a clue to what he was planning to do besides his very few words and the promise he had only just made. |
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Post by Roxie ! on Feb 14, 2007 10:49:59 GMT -5
With things as they were now, Massie didn't even know if she could expect an answer. The tom before her was so pained that she could hardly stand it. And then, Mikkikko looked up, meeting her eyes the way he used to. Back when things had been nearly perfect. She held is gaze, her own sparkling with sadness. And then, as if the memories held in her mate's optics pained her, the loner turned away, her head raised as if questioningly to the small window that resided among the rafters, where a glimpse of the moon was just visible. It's cool light shafted in, bathing half of her pelt in eerie luminosity. She sighed softly, remaining silent for a long moment. When Mikkikko spoke again, one might have thought that perhaps Massie hadn't even heard him, if it hadn't been for the somewhat vague reaction of her flicking ear. She wanted his words to be true. She wanted to be able to take comfort in him, to believe in, to trust her mate. But it wasn't alright. She couldn't just let this go, and she had a feeling that Mikkikko wouldn't so spontaneously. But, maybe they could work it out. If they just talked...
Massie sighed, racking her brain for something to say to him. She turned back, ready to meet Mikkikko's gaze again. But the tom had left. She had turned around just in time to see the tip of his fiery tail disappearing through the doors. Her eyes widened slightly at this, her harks pricking once again slowly, as if were painful to pull them from their pinned position against the top of her head. Massie's leaf-green optics narrowed, her head tilting slightly with silent inquiries. "Mikkikko?" She asked softly, frozen by the shock of his sudden departure. Sudden fear flicked in her green hued gaze, wondering where he could possibly be going. "Mikkikko! Wait!" Regaining herself, the femme repeated herself pleadingly, her tail raising as she got to her paws. Slipping out of the barn, Massie wondered where he could possibly be heading. But no more cries escaped her lips as she bounded after him. But the ruddy tom had gotten too much of a head start, and as she ran on, Massie wondered if she was even on the right track. Mikkikko could've swerved away onto a different path, and she wouldn't even have known. The loner could only rely on her own sense of smell, and the paw-print tracks that led through the thick snow as she raced after him. |
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