»paper tigers.

[Roxie !]

»it's in the atmosphere we breath tonight.

Cold winds chilled the forest, sweeping the long, wilting branches of the willow trees to and fro. As for the other trees that adorned the land by the river; their had turned brilliantly golden in the last few moons. Like the sky that frolicked with the setting sun, they came in all shades of red and orange. They reminded her of a forest fire, but in their own way even more magnificent. But however dazzling and admirable they looked, she knew that they were brittle to the touch, easy to break, ready to fall, growing weaker...looks didn't matter; they'd soon be gone. And they were just another reminder of how Green-Leaf had came and went, all too quickly, leaving the metaphorical grey of Leaf-Fall in its place. Temperatures would drop, colors would fade, prey would dissappear...and the world would sleep again for a long, hard season. Could RiverClan take the blow?

Though they'd been enjoying the advantages of winning Sunningrocks back from ThunderClan, everything seemed to be drifting apart. Spirits around the camp seemed to be down; no one said much these days. And laughter had grown to be a rare sound. Was this just the annual blues that fell upon the forest each year as the world around them died? Or was there a darker force setting upon the Clans? Badgerstar, the curiously black-and-white patterned she-cat who lead RiverClan, didn't like to think about that. Her paws churned through the river as she swam from Sunningrocks back toward their island camp, a water vole clamped in her jaws. Rain began to fall quickly, disrupting the river's still surface. Badgerstar hated this kind of rain: it was harsh and terribly icy, yet not quite cold enough to form snow that would settle on the ground. Yes, it was not a particularly nice morning, to say the least. But then again, Badgerstar was not in a particularly nice mood. So it all worked out, really.

She'd been unable to sleep much in the shadows of her den last night. The sleep she had gotten had been restless and filled with dreams that drained her energy. And so early in the morning, she had departed to do some hunting...and thinking, on her own. But then the weather had gone bad, and she'd ended up with only one measly vole to show for her efforts. She decided that she would leave it for the apprentices, and accordingly placed it in the pile. Raising her head again, Badgerstar stared at the fresh-kill pile. Her tail lashed back and forth, displaying her dissatisfaction at the size of the stack, which had decreased considerably as the temperatures dropped. If it was like this now, how would they ever fare through Leaf-Bare?

But this has to be normal. She insisted to herself, I'm just worrying too much. But Badgerstar's own words did little to comfort her, as would be apparant to any passers by. Her ears were folded backward, and her whiskers stuck out. To put it simply, she looked thoroughly aggitated, but instead of grumping about it, she promptly turned around and stalked back across camp. She'd just have to make sure more hunting patrols were being organized. Of course, that was Rosebloom's job, but in times like these...Badgerstar shook herself. She was doing it again. Over-working herself. Even so, the least she could do was lead one of the patrols herself after the weather eased up a bit.

Badgerstar then took her favorite sheltered place near Tall Log, by her den. She gave her two-toned pelt a canine-like shake, arched her back in a stretch, and then laid down. It was then that a slight pain in her paw pricked her interest. Tilting her head, the she-cat gazed down at her pad. A small cut was visible, as was the bright red blood that rushed to the surface. Must've torn it on a rock in the river. She mused. How hadn't she noticed? Ugh, she needed to come back down to earth. She'd been so out of it lately. Bending down, she rasped her tongue over the wound briskly. Again and again, and each time it stung, but she continued anyway. At that moment, Badgerstar wondered for the umpteenth time why they did not have a medicine cat. If any of the other Clans knew...but then, she hadn't seen them bringing their medicine cats to gatherings lately either, which was very peculiar.

The leader shrugged it off. She had other things to worry about. More pressing things. Ever since she had become leader, she'd been...well, very self-concious to say the least. But that had been three seasons ago; many moons. She found that the various duties and responsibilities that went along with it were becoming more and more familiar to her. Badgerstar almost took pride in them nowadays. Almost. But then came the inevitable Leaf-Fall again. Badgerstar had been appointed leader in the middle of last Leaf-Bare, when the Clan had already worked out a system for survival. But now, it was her job to prepare them. Right, wonderful. Just one question: how was she supposed to do that, exactly?

A soft sigh escaped her lips. After all she'd been through, it seemed silly to worry as much as she did. Right from the star, Badgerstar's life hadn't been easy. She'd never even known her father--and neither had anyone else in the Clan. Before she'd been old enough to really question her mother, Shadowflight, about him, the black she-cat had drowned in a powerful flood that swept through RiverClan's territory one fateful Green-Leaf. It had been a lot to deal with, and she probably wouldn't have gotten through it without her siblings and foster mother, Trixiepelt. But even that wasn't meant to last. Her litter had always been headstrong and mischievious, and those qualities weren't exactly safe ones for kits to possess. Sure enough, they'd been captured by BloodClan.

Almost a moon had been spent in those shadowy dumpsters, and Badgerstar never quite forgot the darkness of those days...and what happened there toward the end of them. The stress had proved to be too much for them, and soon a fight broke out between Badgerstar and her brother. A fight that had ended with him joining BloodClan. The first pawsteps on the path toward the cold-blooded murderer he would become.

And even after that, life had been anything but easy. Badgerstar had witnessed a lot of tragedy and death in her lifetime, and all that just didn't go away. She tried to make it though; tried to put the past behind her. But what if RiverClan saw right through her? She tried to be strong, but sometimes she felt like a complete fake. If only she could do something that would leave her forever remembered as a great and loyal leader.

Loyal. That's all she wanted to be.

»It's in the people that we meet
[.and in your eyes.]