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Post by Roxie ! on Jan 19, 2008 9:42:42 GMT -5
This is possibley...the weirdest thing I have ever written. It's very random and stupid, and I was just using this as a release for my sensless rambling hyperness, I suppose. I might continue it, I dunno. Depends on if I ever get this hyper again.
It's basically a weird mix of worlds colliding...a crossover, if you will. Includes Warriors, Lost, Maximum Ride, Kyle XY, The Music Man, Gilmore Girls, Avenue Q, The Others, and...anything I've forgotten.
“…So then I like, pounced on it, but I’m so serious: this mouse was the size of an oak tree!”
Fireheart glanced over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. “Graystripe, that’s impossible.” He said frankly.
“Why?” Graystripe frowned.
The ginger tom blinked at his friend, momentarily confused. “…Because it is!”
Sensing that this conversation was over, Graystripe decided to change the subject. “Alright, new story,” He suggested. “Well, I was sharing tongues with Runningwind today, and he was smiling at me and talking to me…he was being REALLY friendly…I think he was coming on to me! I think he might of thought that I was gay.” The gray warrior said seriously.
Fireheart’s ears twitched uncomfortably. “So…uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care?! I don’t care! WHATDIDYOUHAVEFORLUNCHTODAY?!” He snapped frantically.
“Well, you don’t have to get all defensive—“
“I’M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!” Fireheart took a deep breath to calm himself. “Why should I care about some gay guy you met?” His eyes flickered shiftily. “Let’s just…explore this place.”
Graystripe eyed him suspiciously, but shrugged it off. “Okay…where are we, anyway?”
“In some two-leg joint, I’m guessing.” Fireheart said knowledgably.
“Oh…” Graystripe scuffed his paws across the ground, before looking up. “Oh look! A red button! What does THIS do?!” Before his friend could stop him, he bounded over to it and pressed it firmly with one paw.
“Graystripe, don’t—“ Fireheart began, but too late. Suddenly, a bright screen flickered on, with a two-leg appearing on the other side of it. The two cats watched in awe as they discovered the magic of…television. Odd music began to play in the background.
“Welcome,” The two-leg greeted annoyingly. “Who I am doesn’t matter. This is your orientation film for Station 3 of the DHARMA initiative. In a moment, you will be given a set of instructions for how you and your partner will fulfill the responsibilities associated with this station.”
“What? What’s he saying?” Hissed Fireheart as the movie continued.
“You and your partner are currently located in Station 3, or ‘The Swan’, and you will stay here for the next five hundred and forty days.”
“Too bad we’re understanding none of this,” Graystripe continued to watch, intrigued.
“Station 3 was originally constructed as a laboratory where scientists could work to understand the unique electromagnetic pulsations emitting from this section of the island. Not long after the experiments began, however, there was…an incident.” The two-leg held up Tigerclaw’s struggling form.
“…And since that time, the following protocol has been observed. Every 108 minutes, a button must be pushed. From the moment the alarm sounds, you will have four minutes to enter the code into the micro computer processors. When this alarm sounds, either you or your partner MUST enter the code. It is highly recommended that you and your partner take alternating shifts, for in this manner you will stay as fresh and alert. It is important, that when the alarm sounds, the code must be entered correctly and in a timely fashion.”
“I think something’s wrong,” Fireheart was saying now. “He’s saying the same thing over and over.”
“Now, do not attempt to use the computer for any—“ At this point there was a large skip in the video.. “Congratulations, until your replacements arrive, the fate of the world is in your hands. On the behalf of all of us here at the DHARMA initiative, thank you. Namaste, and good luck!” Slowly, the video faded to black.
The two felines sat, blinking in confusion. “…We’re gonna need to watch that again.” Graystripe guessed.
Fireheart nodded, and pressed the button as the two-leg flickered back into view.
“Yeah, Fang,” The two-leg was saying. “After this we’ll all go out for some beers…yes, I know Angel is too young…it doesn’t matter…” He suddenly turned back to the camera in alarm. “Is this thing still on?!” In panic, he threw a large rabbit at the camera, cracking the lens slightly.
“BUNNY!” Kyle charged out of nowhere toward it. As he began to pet the rabbit lovingly, Madacorp approached.
“He’s transferring the information to the animal! GET IT!!” They yelled as a crowd of kids charged onward. Fang struggled to the head of the crowd importantly.
“Now a woman who’ll kiss on her first date is usually a hussy,
And a woman who’ll kiss on the second time out is anything but fussy!
But a woman who waits till the third time around,
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground,
She’s the girl he’s glad he’s found,
She’s his Shipoopi!” He announced to the square-dancing crowd.
“Squeeze her once while she isn’t lookin’!
If you get a squeeze back, that’s fancy cookin’!” He paused as he turned around to see Max staring at him.
“Uhhh…” Fang’s eyes darted shiftily. “We were…just talking about you!”
With a howl of fury, Max aimed a slap at him, but Fang ducked and it managed to hit Sawyer smack in the ear.
“I DIDN’T DO IT THIS TIME!” He yelled angrily at her.
“Oh yeah?!” Max snapped back. “Well you’re a red…neck…man.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Yelled Hurley randomly.
“Hey guys,” Lorelai stumbled drunkenly into the par-tay. “Anyone seen my daughter?”
“I think she went in there.” Kyle pointed.
“Thanks!” Lorelai crept toward the darkened room and peered inside. The room was empty, except for a figure who sat on the floor under a white sheet, humming softly to herself in an eerie kind of way.
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU A ROXIE!RANT.
Okay, everybody knows this scenario. Little girl under a bedsheet, humming quietly as the parent creeps toward them, and you know something BAD is under that sheet. Even if you haven’t seen The Others, I think everybody’s familiar with this certain part. Or should be. So how about EVERY day when me and my friend Jimmy head down to musical practice, the hallway gets real silent, except for one teacher who just stands there watching us, waiting until we pass, and as soon as we get close he starts to whistle that SAME SCARY SONG AS THE LITTLE GIRL! It’s sooo freaky! And he does it EVERY DAY!
[/rant]
“Rory?” Asked Lorelai softly, creeping toward the girl, who continued to hum sinisterly. Slowly, Lorelai pulled off the bedsheet to reveal…GASP! Alexis Bledel!
“You’re not my daughter!” Screamed Lorelai.
“Well, you’re not my momma!” Alexis huffed, storming out of the room.
“You know, this story is getting really random.” Juliet remarked.
“OMG MRS.CLAUS!” Angel bounded over to her. “I want a pony, and 3 goldfish, and a dollhouse, and…are you writing all of this down? Because—“
“The lady’s right.” Remarked Gary Coleman. “We need some plot development!”
As he(or she) spoke, it appeared: deux ex machina! Or in English, a plot twist in the form of a unicycle.
“This unicycle tells us one thing…” Danielle remarked seriously. “We have three choices: run…hide…or die.”
“Seriously?” Asked the townspeople.
“No,” She admitted. “This story is a confusing mess. We must all sit down and get to know each other, possibly in the form of some sort of karaoke contest…so says the unicycle.”
The various people all shrugged and nodded peaceably. It couldn’t hurt, could it?
Oh, how they were wrong. |
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{ tessa }
Apprentice
See you in another life, brotha!
[Mo0:28]
Posts: 196
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Post by { tessa } on Jan 19, 2008 14:26:23 GMT -5
OMG LMAO! That was soooo funny.  Firehearts gay! I knew it! lol j/k. And the DHARMA initiatve ;D the "We're gonna have to watch that again" thing was perfect comic timing. And he's like so oblivious to the LOST reference. They should forget to push the button and blow up the world! And OMG Fang singing Shipoopi!!! And Max pulling a Marian the Librarian with the slapping thing. So many funny parts... |
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Post by le Dawnz on Jan 19, 2008 15:11:36 GMT -5
Lmao!! That was funny! When I got to the kid under the sheets thing I was all like OMG Scary Movie 3! I half expected Micheal Jackson to pop out. xDD |
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Post by Roxie ! on Jan 19, 2008 16:56:44 GMT -5
Lol thanks guys! Lol Tess to the Fang thing, I know, I had to. It was sooo out of character. youtube.com/watch?v=AnFv29iPACc What if we imagined those two as Max and Fang? Omg that is like soooo unlike them that it's hilarious! Well, actually, I could see Max doing that to a guy(well, the end part), but Fang ;D
And OMG Dawnie that movie is sooo hilarious! The dads all like "What did you do to my daughter?!" And MJ's all like "Gross she's a girl!!" |
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Post by le Dawnz on Jan 19, 2008 18:35:34 GMT -5
O.o That movie was odd. You can seriously see Max and Fang doing that? |
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Post by Roxie ! on Jan 20, 2008 18:16:19 GMT -5
Oh Nooo, I said it was so unlike them that it was funny. And geez, that song gets stuck in my head every time I try to watch it >< |
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Firehearts gay! I knew it! lol j/k. And the DHARMA initiatve ;D the "We're gonna have to watch that again" thing was perfect comic timing. And he's like so oblivious to the LOST reference. They should forget to push the button and blow up the world!
