Cool like third degree burns...

[Roxie !]

I present to thee...
RANDOM
A musical
That is written when Goldeh feels particularly random and/or insane and looks back on later only to feel incredibley stupid.

Please do not read if:

1.You hate me.
2. You are susceptible to seizures.
3.You REALLY don't want to waste your life reading something this stupid.
4.You just don't get my pure randomness.
5.You intend to use this story as proof that I belong in an insane asylum.

Thank you. -Ahem- Anyway...

Also, I do not own:
Wicked
Warriors
[Most] Of these characters
Dawny, Lineh, Or any others who are included in this insanity.

Oh yeah and one more thing. Last one, I promise. If I mentioned you or your characters in this story...and you're just like "O.o Ummm, don't drag me into this!" Say so. And I shall replace you wif...a mysterious alias.


Chapter One: One if by land, Two if by bubble.


It was dark. Dark…and mysterious. Out of nowhere, flying squirrels leaped around the stage, turning gears with their magically opposable thumps. Out of the shadows leapt a gang of cats, the characters of StarClan’s Lighted path. They jumped around randomly, waving banners and throwing balloons at the poor, innocent Lineh in the background.
It was obviously a party of some kind. But what were they celebrating.

“GOOD NEWS!” The cats sang
“SHE’S DEAD!”

Who was dead?! WHO, I say?

“THE RANDOM TEENAGER IS DEAD!
THE RANDOMEST IDIOT THERE EVER WAS,
THE ENEMY OF ALL OF US THAT HAVE PAWS,
IS DEAD!
GOOD NEWS!
GOOD NEWS!”

Suddenly, their wonderful celebrating was cut short.

“Look!” Yelled Frost. “It’s Dawny!”

Sure enough, Dawny was floating down in a giant…pink…bubble.

“It’s good to see me, isn’t it?” Laughed Dawny. The BloodClanners of the group snorted. Dawny whipped around to glare at them. “That was a rhetorical question.” She added sharply.

Pop.

Her bubble broke, and Dawny fell to the ground. The cats watched stupidly as she rose and collected herself, trying to hold on to at least a bit of dignity. To buy herself some time, she decided to sing.

“Fellow kitty-cats...” Dawny said, though she was actually human, not “kitty-cat.” She paused. "...Who let you in here?"

The 'kitty-cats' stared.

"Oh--nevermind." Flustered, she began singing.

“Let us be mad!
Let us be hateful!
Let us rejoice-ify that posting could subdue
The random rambling of You-Know-Who!”

“VOLDEMORT’S BACK?!” Yelled Harry, but everyone ignored him.

“Isn’t it nice to know,” Dawny continued.
“That we just pwned her good?
We always knew we could!
We killed that lass!
In our sophomore class!
We kicked her—“


“Dawny!” Mikkikko interrupted, one because he wanted to remain cynical and in character, and two because Dawny’s voice had reached an incredibly high note. “Exactly how ‘dead’ is she?”

“Well, she kind of melted, so…” She replied dryly.

As if on cue, the cats burst into song…

“NO ONE MOURNS THE RANDOM!” Shouted Gorgepaw.

“NO ONE CRIES ‘THEY WON’T RETURN!’ ” Squealed Lionclaw.

“NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR GRAVE!” They sang together.


“WE SHOULD SCORN THE RANDOM!” Added Bandedtail.

“THROUGH THEIR LIVES, OUR KITTENS LEARN,” Added Zombie!Morningstar.


“WHAT WE MISS WHEN WE FORGET TO SHAVE!”

Dawny stared. “What?” She asked blankly.

“Dunno, it rhymed.” Answered the cats.

Dawny shrugged. “And goodness knows, the random’s lives are lonely,” She sang, changing the subject.
“Goodness knows the random try to fly!
Then they fall to the ground,
And start to cry…”

“Yes, goodness knows,” Echoed the cats,
“The random’s lives are lonely!
Goodness knows the random cry alone!
Things are thrown at the random, they reap only
What they’ve sown!”

Though this made no sense, it was all part of the fun.

“Dawny, why does randomness happen?” Asked an innocent kit.


“That’s a good question,” She answered wisely. “…I have no clue. But I DO know that Roxie had a mother. And a father.”


“No kidding?” Grumbled Malice.

“Shhh! Flashback!” Rosebloom whispered.


“How I hate to go and leave you lonely,” Sighed the father-dude.

“That’s alright; it’s only just one night.” Sang the mother-chick, pushing him out the door.

“But know that you’re here in my heart, while I’m out of your sight!” The father-dude lingered, oblivious to his own cheesiness.

The mother-chick narrowed her eyes. “Stop rhyming with everything I say and leave already!” She demanded.

The father-dude sighed. “Fine. But Maureen? Please don’t cheat on me while I’m gone.”


Maureen the mother-chick sighed. “I’ll try.” She agreed.

When the father-dude had gone, the mother-chick turned around. A mysterious salesman, let’s call him…Shadow, came out of the closet and began to dance with mother-chick. I guess this is supposed to somehow insinuate that they’re having an affair. Okay…moving on.

“The Tango: Maureen! It’s a dark dizzy merry-go-round!” Sang Shadow.

Mother-chick stared blankly.

“Sorry, wrong musical.” Coughed Shadow. “Anyway… Have another drink, my dark-eyed beauty!
I’ve got one night left here in town,
So have another drink, of Hype Elixir…”

He paused, dangling a green bottle in front of her. “I said, cough, HYPE ELIXER! Foreshadowing!
And we’ll have ourselves a little mixer.
Have another little swallow, lil’ lady, and follow me down.”

Then Shadow disappeared. Because that’s how he rolls.


9 months later.

“THE BABY’S COMING!” Yelled Mother-chick.

“Graphic!” Squealed the kitty-cats.

“Oh please, this is a classic LP-style birth.” Dawny rolled her eyes, and they continued to watch.

“Now?!” Asked Father-dude.

“No, tomorrow! Sheesh!” Snapped Mother-Chick.

“And how?” Father-dude rhymed.

“Didja MISS that day in health class?” Growled the midwife.

“I see a nose!”

“I see a curl!”

“It’s a healthy, lovely, perfect little…ARRRGH!”

The midwife backed away.

“Holy crap!” Father-dude squealed.

“What is it?” Asked mother-chick anxiously.

“What can it be? Is it a threat?”

“It’s atrocious!”

“It’s UGLY!”

“What the heck’s goin’ on down there?!” Demanded mother-chick.


“Although her parents are both blonde,
The baby is unnaturally…
BRUNETTE!!!”

“Take it away!” Father-dude said to the midwife dramatically, turning away from the baby in shame.

“TAKE IT AWAY!”


“So you see, it couldn’t have been easy.” Dawny explained.

“That was so random!” Exclaimed Lineh, and she was the cause of another song outburst.


“NO ONE MOURNS THE RANDOM!
‘CAUSE WE NEED A REASON TO
SING THIS SONG!
NOW AT LAST, THERE’S JOY THROUGHOUT THE LAND
AND

GOODNESS KNOWS...”

“Goodness knows!” Dawny mimicked.

“WE KNOW WHAT GOODNESS IS!”

“Oooooh!” Dawny shouted.


“GOODNESS KNOWS!
THE RANDOM DIE ALONE!”

“She died alone!”

“Woe to those,
Who spurn the earnestness
They are shown!

NO ONE MOURNS THE RANDOM!”

“Good news!” Sang Dawny again.

“NO ONE MOURNS THE RANDOM!”

“Good news!”

“NO ONE MOURNS
THE
RANDOM!
RANDOM!
RANDOM!”

“Okay, well—“ Dawny started, but the kitty-cats cut her off.

“We weren’t finished.
RANDOM!
RANDOM!
RANDOOOOOOM!”

“Shut UP!” Screeched Dawny. An awkward silence fell.

Dawny cleared her throat. “Alright, well, now if you’ll excuse me, I must go mourn the ran—I mean, get some sleep. Hehe…” Her eyes moved back and fourth shiftily.

“Wait!” Tornear stopped her. “Is it true that YOU were once random? Is it true…that you were her FRIEND?”

The kitty-cats uttered a collective gasp.

Dawny twiddled her thumbs. “Well, it depends on what you mean by ‘random’.
I liked to poke things.
And…rant.”

They gasped again.

“But you must understand, this was a very long time ago! Back when we role-played…on LP 1.” Dawny clarified, a misty look coming across her gaze. The kitty-pets gathered around. It was reminiscing story-time!

[Roxie !]

Chapter Two: Three-Liner Ambition

“Let us sing the ANTHEM!!” Bellowed a member who sounded remarkably like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Anyway, the members were only too happy to oblige, although the words were unintelligible.

“Okay…that was odd. I hate this site.” Roxie sighed, displaying her depression to the world.

“Well I love it!” Squealed a girl from behind Roxie. Her name was Dawneh, with an eh, and she was the most popular member of the site.

Father-dude wheeled a virtual wheel-chair onto the site. In the wheel-chair sat…LINEH!

…Who didn’t really need a wheel-chair, but it was for the plot.

“I eat grass.” Roxie said. Everyone stared until she sighed in frustration.

“Fine. Let’s get this over with. No, I’m not entirely crazy. Yes, I’m random. No, my hair is NOT blonde!” Snarled Roxie.

Father-dude blinked.

“Oh yes, and this is my PERFECTLY NORMAL sister, Lineh!” Shrieked Roxie hysterically.

“ ‘Perfectly normal?’ Ha! Gullible.” Lineh smirked.

“And since when is she your sister?” Asked Father-dude.

“Since now.” Decided Roxie.

“Oh, pish posh. Roxie, stop embarrassing us. The only reason I let you join this site is to…um…take care of your ‘sister’, Lineh. Who is conveniently in a wheelchair.” Father-dude sighed. “I need to give Lineh these nice, sparkly red shoes to show everyone that I obviously favor her over you. Roxie, you do everything wrong and she does everything right. No shoes for you!”


And with that, the father-dude left. Lineh stuck her tongue out at her “sister”.

“It’s okay,” Roxie sighed, reverting to her former, depressed self. “Because of my brown hair and randomness, I clash with everything.”

“Well, I wouldn’t wear these to save my life.” Lineh replied, regarding the ruby slippers with distaste.

“Enough!”

A voice suddenly sounded from behind them, and everyone turned to stare at the speaker. The head admin of the site, Skystar, had arrived.


“Welcome, welcome everyone, to StarClan’s Lighted Path!” She trilled. “Please read the rules and create your characters. For now, however, we will need to pick role-playing buddies.”

“Um…why?” Asked a member.


“DO NOT QUESTION ME!” Snarled Skystar, firing up for a moment before taking a deep breath and calming herself.

“Well, actually, I wanted to join your role-playing class.” Dawneh called. Skystar’s eyes snapped to meet the member’s.

“I only teach my role-playing class to the finest and most talented young role-players. So you can’t.” Said Skystar frankly.

“Fine,” Sighed Dawneh. “But still, when I joined, I paid for a premium account. So, I don’t need a role-playing buddy.”

“And also, I want to RP with my sister. So that problem is solved!” Roxie decided, attempting to wheel Lineh away from the scene.

“No!” Skystar bounded over and stole the wheelchair rather violently. Lineh, by now, was feeling very uncomfortable. Don’t ask me how they were doing this all over a website. It’s called “virtual reality”.

“GIMME BACK MY SISTA!” Whined Roxie. Then, as if by magic, the wheelchair whipped itself out of the admin’s hands and rolled back over to Roxie.

Roxie gasped. “I can do magic!” She squealed.

“Actually, I kind of rolled myself over to you.” Lineh pointed out.

“No,” Snapped Roxie. “It was the force of my randomness.”

“Sweet. Roxie, you’re magical, which automatically makes you eligible for my role-playing class. Congrats.” Said Skystar in a bored tone.

“What?!” Exclaimed Dawneh. “What about me?”

“Ah, yes,” Skystar examined her skeptically. “You…you can be Roxie’s role-playing buddy.”

“WHAT?!” Both of them yelled.

“Yes, yes, it’s all settled. Now Roxie, if you make good in my role-playing class, you might even get to meet Shadow himself!” With that promised, Skystar logged off. Lineh looked at everyone, shrugged, and walked out of her wheelchair and away from everyone. Dawneh stood, trembling.

“I…I didn’t get my way. I need to lie down!” With that, she logged off as well, leaving Roxie alone and starry-eyed. Someday, she might actually meet Shadow! The greatest role-player on the site! He’d actually been known to post three-liners.

“Did that really just happen?” Roxie whispered.

“Have I actually understood?
This randomness I’ve tried to suppress and hide,
Is a talent that could help me role-play with Shadow?
If I make good…
Whatever…that means…”


It was singin’ time. Roxie began to spam the c-box with the song she had made up on the spot.

“When I meet Shadow,
Once I prove I’m good,
Then I’ll meet Shadow!
And officially be in “da hood."

And with all his role-playing wisdom,
By my hair, he won’t be blinded!
Do you think that Shadow is dumb?
Or like Swifty, so small-minded?
No!

He’ll say to me “I see who you truly are,
A girl on whom I can rely!
And that’s how we’ll begin,
Shadow and I…”

As she sang, a group of members passed by. Their eyes widened and they huddled closer together and hurried on. Why was that girl…singing?

Roxie scowled at them.

“When I meet Shadow,
My whole life will change!
‘Cause when you’re with Shadow,
No one thinks you’re strange!
No father is not proud of you,
No sister acts ashamed!
And even Swifty’ll have to love you,
When by Shadow, you’re acclaimed!
And this spontaneous-ness I have inside,
Maybe at last, I’ll know why!
When we are hand in hand,
Shadow and I!”

“Um…are you planning on dating him?” Asked Sleet. Roxie ignored her.

“And one day, he’ll say to me:
“Roxie, a girl who is so superior!
Shouldn’t a girl who’s so good-ified,
Have a matching interior?
And since folks around here to a large excess,
Seem fixated on your…randomness,
Would it be alright by you…
If I de-hypify you?

And of course, although that’s not important to me,
“Alright, why not?” I’ll reply!
Oh what a pair we’ll be, Shadow and I!
Yes, what a pair we’ll be, Shadow and…”


“Yeah, there’s something wrong with these lyrics.” Sleet insisted. But Roxie had been struck by an epiphany. Her eyes lit up, causing the nearby members to put on their shades.

“Unlimited…” Roxie sang dramatically.
“My future is…unlimited!
And I’ve had a vision almost like a prophecy!
I know, I am truly crazy.
And true, my posts are lazy.
But I swear someday, the most
Advanced member on LP
Will be…MEEEEEE!”




“AND I’LL ROLEPLAY WITH SHADOW!
FEELING THINGS I’VE NEVER FELT!”

“Creepin’ me out, here,” Sighed Sleet.


“AND THOUGH I’D NEVER SHOW IT,
I’D BE SO HAPPY, I COULD MELT!” Roxie stepped aside to dodge the giant anvil of foreshadowing.

“AND SO IT WILL BE, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
I’LL WANT NOTHING ELSE ‘TILL I DIE!
HELD IN SUCH HIGH ESTEEM,
WHEN I LOG ON, PEOPLE WILL SCREAM,
FOR HALF OF LP’S FAVORITE TEEEAAAM!” By now, she had completely forgotten her inside voice.

“SHADOW….
AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Just as Roxie began to turn blue, someone slapped her, ending the song abruptly and allowing her to breath.

“Thanks,” She gasped.

“Grow up!” Shouted the member, scurrying away.

[Roxie !]

Chapter Three: Fashion Crisis: Why Schools shouldn't have uniforms.

Roxie tapped on her desk in frustration, museless as she attempted to send a PM to her parents, who had an account on LP for “Web safety.” Casting a glare at Dawneh, she decided something.

“I hate you.” Roxie muttered.

Dawneh looked up. “Oh yeah? Well I loathe you. Beat that!”

Defeated, Roxie turned back to her PM.

Dawneh, attempting to write to her parents as well, began by typing.

”Dearest darlingest momsy and popsicle,”


Roxie typed “My dear father…”

“There’s been some confusion while RPing at LP.” They both typed, because they had some sort of strange, psychic connection.

“But, of course, I’ll care for Lineh.” Typed Roxie.

“But, of course, I’ll rise above it!” Dawny’s fingers worked tirelessly over the keyboard.

“For I know that’s how you’d want me to respond.” They typed in unison again.

“Yes, there’s been some confusion and my role-playing buddy is…” Each of them paused.

Dawneh glanced at Roxie and typed “Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe…”

“Blonde.” Roxie put, deciding to lie about her role-playing buddy’s hair-color for no particular reason.

Dawneh glanced over Roxie’s shoulder and shrieked in outrage, standing up and ready for a fight. Roxie did the same. A strange feeling had come over them, and they felt that each should blame the other for it. They glared at each other for a moment, and then, as seemed to be the habit of the odd members of StarClan’s Lighted Path, began to sing.

“What is this feeling, where is my new skirt?” Dawneh asked aloud.

“I felt the moment I put on this shirt!” Roxie returned.

“My skin is itching” Whimpered Dawneh.

“My arms are burning” Added Roxie.

“My legs are twitching,” This was Dawneh again, before the two started singing in unison.

“What is this feeling?
What could be the cause?
Is it Santa Claus?
Noooo….

Clothing.
Fretful, fidgety clothing.


“It like pain” Dawneh wailed.

“It burns.” Roxie shot back.

“It’s loathing!” Dawneh exclaimed.

“Let’s just say,” They both sang.

“Scratch it all!
Every little shirt, however small,
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl,
When I wear this clothing!
There’s such a strange sensation,
That comes with this utter frustration!
It’s so pure! So strong!
Though I do admit, it feels a bit lame,
Still I do believe you are to blame,
Now I’ll have a clothing, clothing fit!
The whole day long!”

Suddenly, a whole group of members signed on and joined in.

“Geez, don’t you people knock?” Muttered Roxie.

“Our dear Dawneh, you look ill at ease!
Let us get you new clothes, if you please!
It’s a terror, it’s a disgrace,
We don’t mean to sound so stuck-up,
But Dawneh, look at you’re face!” The members lamented, uncaring that Roxie was in the same situation.

“Well, then,” Dawneh flashed a grin “Bring the camera for a close-up!”

They stared for a moment, as if wondering whether she was serious or not. Instead of acting immediately, they began to sing to cover their confusion.

”Look at what Dawneh is forced to wear,
I think we should all say a prayer,
And Dawneh, know that we really, really care!
We’ll share our clothing!”

“What is this feeling, where is my new skirt?” Dawneh and Roxie sang.

“Fretful, fidgety clothing!” The members sang in the background.


“My skin is itching, my arms are burning,” The role-playing buddies sang.


“Scratch it all!” Yelled the members.

“OH, WHAT IS THIS FEELING?” Dawneh and Roxie sang spot-on.

“Every little shirt, however small…” Sang the students.

“Is it Santa Claus?” The girls competed.

“Makes our very flesh begin to crawl…” The members sang louder.

“Nooo….”

“Ahhhh…”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”


“CLOTHING!” Yelled the girls.

“CLOTHING!” Echoed the members.

“THERE’S SUCH A STRANGE SENSATION!"

“CLOTHING!” Repeated the members again.

"THAT COMES WITH THIS UTTER FRUSTRATION!"

"CLOTHING!"

"IT'S SO PURE, SO STRONG!"

"SO STRONG!" Screeched the members.

Roxie and Dawneh, determined to outshine them, sang louder. "THOUGH I DO ADMIT, IT FEELS A BIT LAME,
STILL I DO BELIEVE YOU ARE TO BLAME!
AND I'LL HAVE A CLOTHING, CLOTHING, FULL-BLOWN CLOTHING,
TRULY ANGRY CLOTHING FIIIIIIT!
THE WHOLE DAY LOOOOOOOONG!"

There was a beat as the song dramatically finished. Then, a guest posted.

"Would you guys SHUT UP?! It's two in the morning!" He yelled at them. Grumbling, the members gradually logged off, leaving only Roxie and Dawneh behind.

"Don't you just love the way everybody knows the words and choreography to the same songs?" Squealed Dawneh.

"Lyke totally!" Exclaimed Roxie, and they giggled for a moment.

"...I still hate you." Muttered Roxie.

"I still loathe you."

"Fair enough."

[nightsky]

Wooooow. That was CRAZY. Lmao. Try singing the songs outloud, I couldn't get through "Clothing" without cracking up. Write more write more write more! That's the first thing that's made me smile all day XD. Anyway...Oh oh oh! Can I be Boq? Lmao. No, scratch that. I wanna be DR. DILLAMOND!!

[Roxie !]

I was doing "No One Mourns the Random" Just now xDDD I'm insane. But at least ya enjoyed it right? Didja catch that Tango: Maureen thing? And sure, you can be Dr.D. Boq...is going to be Pete Wentz. So he can be paired with Lineh.xDD

[Roxie !]

Chapter Four: The Plot Unfolds...Kind of.

“Time for role-playing history class!!” Came a high-pitched voice from the door. The students immediately stopped throwing their paper balls and such to stare at the girl who had just walked in. Their teacher…was…a goat?!

“No,” she Snapped, as if reading their thoughts. “I am a Goat. Not goat. Goat. With a capital ‘G’, yo. ”

Everyone kept staring.

The Goat cleared her throat. “Ahem. Anyway, I am Dr.Tessamond, and I will be teaching you history this year.”

Meanwhile, Dawneh was whispering and snickering to her cronies.

“Miss Dawny! Stop that at once!” Barked Dr.Tessamond.

Dawneh looked up in annoyance. “It’s Dawneh. With an EH!”

“Sorry.”

But Dr.Tessamond had already gone too far.

“What’s you’re *beep* problem? Every other *beep* in this *beep* can pronounce my *beep* name *beep*in’ crystal clear!” Shouted Dawneh. Fortunately for us, this story is equipped with sensors.

“Oooh it seems the artichoke is steamed.” Smirked Roxie.

“That didn’t even make sense! And you stole my line!”

Dr.Tessamond intervened before things could get too violent. “Now, now, settle down,” she said. “You all suck anyway. Except for Roxie.”


Roxie beamed and folded her hands on her desk.

“Teacher’s pet.” Muttered Dawneh.

“Yeah, teacher’s pet!” Squeaked Pete Wentz, the abnormally tall munchkin who worshipped Dawneh. Lineh cast a jealous glare their way.


Dr.Tessamond looked at them from behind her spectacles. “Yes, well…I’m here to tell you that this site SUCKS. Does anyone know why?”

Dawneh raised her hand.

“Miss Dawny?”

“It’s DAWNEH! Geez. Also, I don’t understand why you can’t teach us history instead of always harping on about the past?”

Dr.Tessamond looked at her disapprovingly. “Well…” she said slowly. “Perhaps the complex equations I have written on the blackboard will enlighten you.”

”Equations?!” Lineh groaned.

“Yes, Miss Lineh. Thank you for volunteering to solve them! As for the rest of you…” Dr.Tessamond narrowed her eyes. “Your lack of enthusiasm shocks me.”

Whipping around, she proceeded to flip over the blackboard, to the dismay of Lineh.

There was a sudden gasp.

Everyone stared at what had been written on the board. Those…were definitely not equations.

Dr.Tessamond looked shocked and appalled.

The board read ‘ONE-LINERS SHOULD NOT BE SEEN OR TYPED.’

“Who is responsible for this?!” Dr.Tessamond spluttered at last. “We all know that one-liners are a way of life here at StarClan’s Lighted Path!”

Everyone remained silent as Dr.Tessamond fumed.

“Fine,” The teacher shouted at last. “Get out. GET OUT!!”

Everyone scurried away…except for Roxie, that was, because she was a teacher’s pet, and Lineh, who was waiting expectantly for her “sister” to wheel the chair out of the room.

“You go on ahead, Lineh.” Roxie said absent-mindedly. “I’ll catch up.”

Lineh stared from Roxie to her wheel chair, and then broke into sobs at her sister’s insensitivity. Choking, she leaped from her wheelchair and bounded out of the room. Roxie didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, don’t worry about me.” Cried Dr.Tessamond dramatically. “Go catch up with your friends.”


“I have no friends.” Roxie said dead-pan. “Everyone hates me because I’m random!” She began to sniffle.

“Hey! This is about me.” Snapped Dr.Tessamond.

“Sorry. Wanna share my lunch?”

“How kind of you.”

Roxie took out a chocolate bar and stuffed it in her mouth, before giving the wrapper to Dr.Tessamond.

“Thanks,” She said, stuffing it down whole. Then, with another glance at the board, the Goat sighed and spit the paper out. “I’m afraid I’ve lost my appetite.”

Roxie said nothing, just stared in horror down at the dripping wrapper that was now on her lap.

“Don’t let it get to you, Dr.T. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” She finally said.

Dr.Tessamond sighed. “I wish it were only a matter of words on the chalkboard. But—oh, Miss Roxie, the things one hears these days. Dreadful things.

I’ve heard of an Ox, a professor from Quox,
Who posted more than four lines.
Now he only can whine.
And on the RiverClan boards, a large giraffe,
Who wrote a whole paragraph,
And he merely laughed!

Only rumors, but still, enough to give chills
To all role-playing thrills!
It makes me mad,
To see them post!” She sang.

“It makes you mad
To see them post?” Roxie repeated curiously.

“Under the surface,
Behind the scenes,
It makes me MAAAAAAAAAAAHD…
Sorry. Mad.”

Roxie looked at the teacher with concern, as the Goat had just, well…baa’ed. “Dr.Tessamond, are you alright? Maybe I should get you some water…”

“No…I don’t know what came over me.” Dr.Tessamond said quickly.

“So, you’re saying that LP’s members are slowly becoming more advanced? How is that possible?” Roxie asked.

Dr.Tessamond looked nervous “Uh…”

Convientely, Skystar chose this time to enter. “Move it along, Goat! Stop telling my members secrets!” And with that, she poofed away, looking Dr.Tessamond looking very pale.

Roxie blinked. “…I’d better go. Dr.Tessamond, if something is making us write longer posts, someone has got to tell Shadow. That’s why we HAVE a Shadow! So nothing makes you mad!”

“I hope you’re right.” Sighed Dr.Tessamond.

“Nothing makes us mad!” They sang together.

“Nothing makes us maaaahhhd.” Dr.Tessamond looked surprised.

“Sorry…mad.” And with that, she hurried away, leaving Roxie looking confused.

“It couldn’t happen here…On LP…”

[nightsky]

Lmao! Nice job with the song. I luved it...Dr.Tessamond *busts out laughing*

I loved these parts:

“What’s you’re *beep* problem? Every other *beep* in this *beep* can pronounce my *beep* name *beep*in’ crystal clear!” Shouted Dawneh. Fortunately for us, this story is equipped with sensors.

“Oooh it seems the artichoke is steamed.” Smirked Roxie.

“That didn’t even make sense! And you stole my line!”



“Yeah, teacher’s pet!” Squeaked Pete Wentz, the abnormally tall munchkin who worshipped Dawneh. ....Wow. Lol

Roxie took out a chocolate bar and stuffed it in her mouth, before giving the wrapper to Dr.Tessamond.

“Thanks,” She said, stuffing it down whole. Then, with another glance at the board, the Goat sighed and spit the paper out. “I’m afraid I’ve lost my appetite.”

Roxie said nothing, just stared in horror down at the dripping wrapper that was now on her lap.

[Roxie !]

Kinda rolls off the tongue, doesnt it?
Anyway. I'll get the Dancing Through Life Chapter up soon. This should be good...

And....extremely out of character for all of us. But then again, aren't all the chapters? So everyone...beware.

[le Dawnz]

Oh, my gosh. I don't even know what to say to that! That's just so... so... well, random! It's HILARIOUS! HISTARICAL! And other words beginning with H that mean 'funny'!

[Roxie !]

xDDDD Thankies Dawny...eh. -Bows- Wait till we get to Popular. That'll be fun -Rubs hands together evilly-

[squee.]

-sobs- Lineh's so abused in this. first she's attacked with balloons, then in a wheelchair and....and....Pete!! He worships Dawneh. -sobs again- I'm so telling. oh yeah, just try and stop me.

[Roxie !]

I'm sorry Lineh! I'll try to pin the wheelchair-balloon-wentz angst on someone else...try. -Stares innocently-

Anyway...I got carried away in this next Chapter. So it's like, really long. So I'm splitting it into two posts.


Chapter Five: Enter Roger-Mark-Benjamin-Collins-Angel-Joanne-Maureen-Mimi-Fiyero-McBob

“Attention all! I have an announcement. As of today, StarClan’s Lighted Path will be closing down, and we will be moving to StarClan’s Lighted Path 2.”

It was an announcement that had made by Skystar last week, and presently Dawneh, Lineh, Roxie, and Pete Wentz lounged around the LP 2 c-box. Suddenly, a guest posted.

“Yo.” Spoke the guest.

“Hey!” Greeted Lineh, giving the guest a grin…or a smiley. Whatever. “You wanna join?”

“No,” The guest remained stone-faced. “I am merely here to announce the arrival of my comrade. It is he who will be joining your site. May I present to you all…Roger-Mark-Benjamin-Collins-Angel-Joanne-Maureen-Mimi-Fiyero-McBob…the third.”

Sure enough, a new member had joined. “Hey,” He greeted everyone, flashing them all a handsome, toothy grin that they could somehow all see. Again, don’t ask.

“You guys can call me Roger.” He added.

“Charming.” Muttered Roxie.

Meanwhile, Pete Wentz was talking to Dawneh earnestly.

“Miss Dawneh, I may be a munchkin, but I’m a hottie-munchkin of the Upper Fall-Out-Boy Clan of the sixth generation.” Pete Wentz announced importantly. “And I have feelings. Sometimes…it feels like you don’t even know I’m there!”

“That’s not true, Feet!” Dawneh said, trying to sound earnest. Pete Wentz looked annoyed.

“It’s Pete.”

“Oooh Feet, look! A new member! And he’s hot!” Dawneh bounded over, leaving Pete Wentz looking rather crestfallen.

“Do you know who that is? It’s Roger-Mark-Benjamin-Collins-Angel-Joanne-Maureen-Mimi-Fiyero-McBob! I hear he has a scandalous reputation!” Grinned Dawneh. Pete Wentz looked unimpressed. However, Roger heard his name and turned his attention to the two.

Dawneh flicked her hair.

Roger flicked his in return.

It was love at first sight.

“Hey! I’m Dawneh, the most popular member here at StarClan’s Lighted Path…Two. I could show you around, if you like?” Dawneh offered. Roger grinned.

“Yeah! That’d be cool.” He said absently, his eyes still fixed on Dawneh. She didn’t notice.

“Okay! Now, the first thing you should know, is that here on StarClan’s Lightered Path Two, there are a few rules to follow…”


Roger looked up incredulously. “‘Rules’?” He repeated, almost angrily. Dawneh raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yes. Ever since we moved to this site, the post limit has been mysteriously raising. No more one-liners are allowed!”

“Pssh! Listen up!” Roger growled.

“The trouble with sites is,
They always try to teach the wrong lesson.”

It seemed that Roger had caught on fairly early to LP’s tendency to break out into song.

“And believe me; I’ve been banned from enough of them to know…”

Dawneh looked interested, while Pete Wentz scowled.

“They want you to post more words,
Become nerds,
But I say “Why invite stress in?”
Stop posting this strife,
And learn to live the beginning role-player’s
Life…”

He grinned around at the members, who were following his every move.

“Prancing through life,
Posting one liners,
Don’t be a whiner, please!
Life is painless
For the brainless,
Those who don’t post
Never look foolish!

Prancing through life,
No need to tough it,
When you can sluff it off as I do!
Nothing matters but knowing nothing matters!
It’s just a site, so keep prancing through!”

“This song has horrible morals!” Exclaimed Dawneh, but Roger continued.

“Prancing through life,
Posting a short one,
And always keeping cool!
Life’s more fraughtless,
For the thoughtless.
Those who don’t post,
Never look foolish!

Prancing through life!
Mindless and careless,
Make sure you’re where one-liners are life!
Woes are fleeting,
Posts are like dancing,
When you’re prancing
Through life!”

Roger turned to Dawneh. “So! What’s the most swankified board on this site?” He asked her.

“That would be the Random Whatever.” Dawneh replied knowledgeably.

“Sounds perfect!” Roger gave a virtual toss of his wavy hair.

“Let’s make a thread in the Random Whatever,
We’ll meet there later tonight!
We can spam till it’s light!
Find the prettiest girl,
Give her a whirl!” he spun Dawneh, who giggled slightly.

“Right on down to the Random Whatevah,” Continued Roger.
“Come on, follow me!
You’ll be happy to be there…”

By now, all of the surrounding members had joined in.

“Prancing through life!
Down at the RW!”

“If only because spamming is what we come to!” Put in Roger.

“Nothing matters, but knowing nothing matters!
It’s just a site…” The others chorused.

“So keep dancing through!” Roger finished.

“Miss Dawneh?” Pete Wentz interrupted his jealousy apparent. “I hope you’ll save one dance for me. I’ll be waiting…all…night.” He twitched.

Dawneh looked as if she didn’t know how to react.

“Oh, Feet, that’s so kind.” She replied hesitantly. Then, her eyes narrowed as a sudden idea crossed her mind.

“But, you know what would be even kinder?” Grinned Dawneh, pulling Pete Wentz to face the direction where Lineh was sitting alone.

“See that tragically beautiful girl?
The one in the chair?” Asked Dawneh.

“It seems so unfair,
That we should go on a spree,
And now she.
Gee,
I know someone would be my hero,
If that someone were
To go invite her!” Hinted Dawneh pointedly.

Pete Wentz shrugged. “Maybe…I could invite her?”

“Oh, Feet, really? You’d do that for me?” Dawneh sang randomly.

(Please don’t kill me for this, Lineh!) “I’d do anything for you, Miss Dawneh.”

“Haha, Sucker.” Sneered Roger.

Dawneh shrugged. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.” She said innocently.

Roger shrugged. “You wanna go out?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Dawneh answered with a smile. “After all…
Now that we’ve met one another…”

They sang together. “It’s clear we deserve each other!”

“You’re perfect!”

“You’re perfect!”

“So, we’re perfect together! Born to be forever…PRANCING THROUGH LIFE!!”