Cool like third degree burns...

[Roxie !]

-High fives Dawnz- Yesh! xDD I couldn't pass the pregnant thing up. Annnd as for the Trekkie thing...I suppose I ought to tell you. Since this is the next chapter, and all. It's from "Avenue Q". Which is, like, the funniest musical ever. It's a parody of Seasame Street, basically, and I haveta see it, 'cause I've only ever heard the songs on Youtube. I wanna buy the soundtrack...if you're up for a laugh, look up some of 'em on YouTube. Like this...though I like the Original cast voices better youtube.com/watch?v=HPvZVdHDB4E -Ahem- Right then..


Oh yeah, and Author's note. Just something that can go into that ever-growing catagory of useless facts Roxie thinks you should know. After listening to a bunch of stuff on Youtube...I finally decided. My favorite Fiyero is Norbert Leo Butz (Norbie...-sighs-), while my favorite Elphaba...s...are Idina Menzel and Stephanie J. Block, y favorite Nessarose is Michelle Federer and my favorite Galinda/Glinda is Erin Mackey. Yup. xD

Chapter 8: The Difference Between Swamps and Marshes.

“All aboard!”

The call rang above the rest of the voices, because the train conductor had decided to be obnoxiously loud. Oh yes, and in case you didn’t know, we have a new setting: the…train station. Don’t ask.

Dawneh had just finished giving Roxie her pep-talk. After all, the girl would have to be prepared if she was going into ShadowClan territory.

“But what if he doesn’t like me?” Roxie whined.

Dawneh gave her a confident smile. “Just pretend to be normal, and everything will be fine.” She assured her. It was then that Pete Wentz entered, seemingly out of nowhere. He was wheeling Lineh along, who was looking rather bored. They paused before the other two, and a moment of awkward silence ensued.

“Um…good luck?” Lineh finally tried.

Roxie blinked. “Yup. That pretty much out-did Dawneh’s.”

More awkward silence. Some random tumbleweed tumbled past them.

“Well…bye.” Pete Wentz had lost interest. Well, actually, all of them had lost interest. He was just the only one brave enough to voice it. Train stations can be quite dull, you know. And dangerous. It’s just one big plot to sell you a ticket, and then watch in amusement as said ticket falls into the endless abyss that is the bench-seat-cracks, and you are forced to buy a new one. Your fellow train-riders are so cruel, too. When you trip and land yourself on the train-tracks as you are sure to do, they merely laugh. But if you ever do manage to get onto the train, you’ll always end up sitting by some psychotic old lady, or something. Anyway…Pete Wentz pretty much left.

“Way to leave me here!” Lineh shouted at no one in particular, since Pete Wentz had left the building.

“It’s teen angst. I feel you.” Roxie nodded importantly.

“Yes…well…” Dawneh looked around quickly, before kicking Lineh’s wheelchair and sending it flying. “She’ll have to manage without you. We all will.”

“Please, you won’t even notice I’m gone.” Scoffed Roxie. “Besides, you’ll have Roger…” At that point, two things happened. First, Roxie reverted into the depressed state of the former chapter. At the same time, Dawneh burst into tears.

“What?! What’s wrong?” Roxie asked frantically.

“R-Roger,” Dawneh sniffled. “He just hasn’t been the same lately. I think he’s—No, it’s too terrible!” She wailed.

Roxie’s eyes grew wide. “On drugs?!” She gasped. Dawneh shook her head, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

“Worse.”

“Worse? Um, okay…” Roxie’s brow furrowed as she surveyed Dawneh.

“Okay…three words? First word…one syllable? Yeah!” She rambled as Dawneh motioned wildly. It was time for the daily life-or-death charade game!

“He’s…a gang member? No…Pinocchio! He’s a puppet? No, when he tells lies his nose gets bigger? No, wait—elephant! Or Elephant? He’s an Elephant?”

Dawneh nodded excitedly. Roxie stared, dumbfounded by this news.

“Well, kind of,” Dawneh semi-agreed, abandoning the game. “An Elephant never forgets. And Roger has…well, been thinking lately.” She explained in a whisper. Roxie gasped, then frowned.

“Wait, huh?! I’m still at the Elephant bit.”

It was then that Roger entered, he too coming out of nowhere. It’s basically a Platform 9 and ¾ deal. Dawneh immediately stopped crying, and forced a grin.

“For you,” Roger handed Roxie some random flowers that had obviously been picked out of the nearby dandelion field. Roxie looked both confused and grateful, while Dawneh glared. Taking no notice, he continued. “I’ve been thinking—“

“I’ve heard.” She glared at him suspiciously, as if searching for any traits that might give away his alleged Elephant heritage.

“Yeah. You know that thing with the Lion Cub? It was…”

“Awkward? Random? Physically and emotionally draining?” Tried Dawneh

Roger blinked, then grinned. “Yeah! Exactly. I think about it a lot, and—“


“Me too!” Squealed Roxie.

“Me three!” Agreed Dawneh. “About that Goat person. I think we need to take a stand! The drama! The scandal! To express my utter outrage, I’m…I’m going to change my name. To Dawny, because the Goat was incapable of pronouncing and/or spelling my real name.”

For a moment, no one said anything. Then, slowly, a person in the crowd began to clap. A few others joined in, and soon the clapping had quickened and everyone was applauding. That’s so cheesy. I love it when they do that in movies!

“Solidarity, sister!” Shouted Dr. Tessamond.

Roger looked up. “Hey! Why don’t I get to change my name? She gets Goldeh, and now you’re Dawny?! I feel so rejected!” And with that, he turned and ran away. As soon as he had disappeared into the crowd, Dawny burst into tears again as if on cue.

“See?! He’s all freaky and deep and stuff! Goldeh…I’m scared.” Dawny told her fearfully.

“Me too.” Roxie said seriously. “I’m allergic to dandelions!” In their despair, the two friends embraced. After a moment, they pulled away. Randomly, as was her nature, Roxie suggested that Dawny come to the ShadowClan territory boards with her.

“Sure, why not?” Dawny shrugged. “I got nothin’ better to do. I sort of have responsibilities, and I didn’t post in the Away board...but that doesn’t matter. And convieniently, Skystar gave you two tickets.”

“Yeah, one was for my imaginary friend, Blinky. But he can stay here.”

It was then that the two realized that they could hear…singing. Because, using some spiffy special effect, they were already in ShadowClan territory.

“One short day in the ShadowClan Marshes…” The ShadowClan kitties sang.

“One SHORT day?!” Demanded Roxie. “This is an outrage! In the book, it took us four freakin’ weeks to see Shadow, but we only get one day?!”

“And one short day at that.” Dawny added gravely. “Wait. There’s a book? About us?”

Roxie shrugged. “That’s what my agent told me.”

“Well, this is a musical, see. We have to cut things out, or else the audience gets bored and will start to throw things at us.” Dawny explained calmly as a shoe bounced off of Roxie’s head. “Like that.”

“Well, this sucks.”

“Gosh-darnit, Just let us sing the freakin’ song!” Yelled Mistystar, and so they instantly fell silent. The ShadowClan cats cleared their throats and began again, on a higher note.

“One short day in the ShadowClan Marshes!” The kitty-cats danced around as Dawny and Roxie looked on in awe.

“One short day in the ShadowClan Marshes,
One short day, full of so much to do!
Every way that you look in the Marshes,
There’s something exquisite
You’ll want to visit
Before the day’s through!”

“Yeah, I’m looking around, and all I’m seeing is miles and miles of swamp.” Growled Roxie.

“It’s not a swamp! It’s a Marsh! Now be positive!” Twilight hissed as the other cats grabbed their pitchforks.

Roxie and Dawny exchanged a fearful glance, and reluctantly began to sing.

“There are trees as tall as…other trees!” Sang Roxie nervously.

“Genghis Khans!” Sang Dawny, pointing to the bobble heads.

“Itchy fleas!” Added Roxie, scratching herself furiously.

“Swampgrass!”

“Cat-tails!”

“A hundred strong!” They sang together.

“There are wonders like I’ve never seen!” Continued Roxie.

“It’s all grand!” This was Dawny.

“And it’s caffeine!” Squealed Roxie, tasting the water.

“I think we’ve found a place where we belong!”

“Hahaha, they belong in a swamp!” Lineh grinned.

“MARSH!!” Everyone corrected automatically.

“I wanna be in this hoi polloi!” They sang together.

Dawny paused. “What’s a ‘hoi polloi’?”

Roxie shrugged. “I dunno. It’s catchy, though.”

“You guys are stupid,” Lineh rolled her eyes. “EVERYONE knows that a hoi polloi is defined as ‘masses of people’.”

They gave her a blank stare. “Then…why didn’t we just sing ‘I wanna be in these masses of people’?” Asked Dawny at last.

“That would sound stupid.” Lineh explained patiently. But her answer was nearly drowned out by the ever-lasting song.

“So I’ll be back for good someday!” Giggled Roxie.

“To make my life, and make my way!” Sang Dawny.

It was harmony-singing time again. “But for today, we’ll wonder and enjoy:”

The ShadowClan cats had the nerve to cut in and sing with them. Just for the heck of it, Lineh sang too. Don’t give into peer pressure, Lineh. Stay above the influence!

“One short day in the ShadowClan Marshes!
One short day to have a lifetime of fun!
One short day…” The song trailed off again as Dawny and Roxie took over.

“And we’re warning the Marshes!
Now that we’re in here,
You’ll know we’ve been here,
Before we are done!”

The ShadowClanners stared. “What’s THAT supposed to mean?” Asked Sandstorm finally.

“Terrorists!” Shouted Dustfall.

“Now, now, everyone settle down.” Torneh appeared calmly, before flashing a smile at the visitors.

“Welcome to ShadowClan. Population: Unknown. Crime Rate: Outragiously high.” She recited sweetly.

“Awesome!” Roxie grinned. “I so belong here. Everything is so…random.”

“Yeah, whatever, let’s go see ShadowMania.” Suggested Dawny.

“What’s that?”

“A musical.”

“So it’s a musical inside a musical? Weird.”

They shrugged, and watched as weird clown-type things danced around

“Oooooooooooo isn’t he wonderful? The wonderful Shadow!” Sang the clowns. It was then that Roxie and Dawny felt the need to add their own song. But if you did that at a real musical, you’d get shot. By Kristen Chenoweth...or maybe Erin Mackey, 'cause she rocks. Or maybe even both of them! In fact, yeah. All of the Glindas have formed a mafia, so don’t get any bright ideas.

“One short day in the ShadowClan Marshes!” Sang the intruders.

“One short day to have a lifetime of fun!
What a way to be seeing the Marshes!
Where so many roam to…”

“What? This place is, like, uninhabited!” Lineh pointed out. Dawny and Roxie looked around shiftily, but carried on.

“We'll call it home, too,
And then, just like now, we can say,
We’re just two friends,”

“Two good friends.” Provided Roxie.

“Two best friends!” Dawny said warmly.

“Sappyyyyy.” The crowd shouted.

There was a pause.

“Sharing one wonderful
One…Short…” The everyone sang as Torneh dragged the two away from the crowd.

“Shadow will see you now!”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!”

Everything fell into silence as Roxie and Dawny departed, leaving the ShadowClan cats to catch their breath. I know, I know, you must be thinking: Rip off! I wanted to see Shadow. This whole chapter has been rambling, pointless nonsense that is essentially POINTLESS to the plot!

Dear reader, I ask you: What else is new?

[le Dawnz]

Seasame Street. -giggles- I'll watch it in a bit. The very first thing I thought off when you said they were at a train station was the Hogwarts Express, xD. OMGosh you HAVE to watch this, it's 53 seconds of compleate and utter random funnyness by the Jonas Brothers. I started watching it and was like, 'Huh?' and then suddenly it's like 'BAM' (literally) and I doubled over, I couldn't stop laughing! www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmHpPJMB97c Watch it! -watches again- Maybe it's just cause I'm in a 'laughable' mood. -shrugs- Try not to laugh too loud or you won't hear what Joe says. By the way, ever notice that Nick is totally.... -searches for better word but is unable to find one- buff??!!

[Roxie !]

Omg xDDD Lmao! "Today, we're talking about anger." -Giggles- That was sooo random. And lmao, "buff"

[le Dawnz]

OMGosh!!!! I really want to hug Nick Jonas now! I'm watching this speech he was giving about him have diabetes and stuff and it's all... sappyish and I'm just like AWWWWW!!! -hugs Nick against his will-

[Roxie !]

Awwww!! I watched that, t'was sad.

The only reason Im updating now is that I had MOST of this chapter written awhile ago. Dawneh already knows that...but more will be explained when we get there. This is a very emotional moment -Whimpers- The end of Act I.

Chapter 9: Defying Gravity!...Or not.

“Now, you only get four minutes to see Shadow, so make it snappy.” Said Torneh, once she had dragged the two away from the singing crowd. “And whatever you do, don’t look behind the curtain. Okay? Okay!” With that, she forced Dawny and Roxie forward, waving good-bye as they stumbled off in confusion.

When they reached the room of question, they came face-to-face with a large head. The head of Shadow himself.

“IIIIII aaam Shaaaddooow, the great and terrrrible. Whoooo are yooou?” Shadow asked, using a low, rumbling voice that proved quite annoying.

“Goldeh! Say something!” Whispered Dawny anxiously. Roxie gulped, her eyes fixed on the gigantormous head, and stuttered,

“I-I’m Roxie. S-s-skystar sent me.”

Shadow blinked. “Oh! Well why didn’t you say so?” With that, the lights in the giant head seemed to die out, and from the mysterious curtain stepped…

Not Shadow…but Swifty. Who was a wizard-flying-monkey. (No, really, Swifty made me do it!)

“Swifty!” Gasped Dawny. “You’re Shadow?!”

Dun…dun…dun…

To be continued….






Naw, just kidding. You’re not getting away that easily.

“That’s me!” Swifty smirked. “Now, which is which? You…” He looked Roxie up and down. “Are Roxie, I presume. And you are…?” He turned to Dawny.

Dawny snorted. “Like you don’t know us.”

Swifty stared blankly, until she sighed.

“I get it, I get it, pretend not to remember me because blocked you on MSN for so long. I’m sorry, okay?” Dawny snapped irritabley. However, Swifty continued to stare until she let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fine. I’m Dawny. The ‘eh’ is silent.” She explained.

Swifty blinked once. “If the ‘eh’ was silent, your name would be pronounced ‘Dawn’”

“You didn’t let me finish!...The ‘eh’ is silent, and is replaced with a ‘y’.”

Swifty grew impatient. “Do you want my help, or not?” He asked briskly.

“You’re so mean!” Sobbed Roxie.

For once, his nonchalant expression changed. “I am not! I’m…I’m…”

Without warning, he broke into song.

“I am a sentimental wizard-Monkey.
Who always longed a father.
So I do the best I can,
To treat each member of LP like son and…daughter.” He sang pointedly. Everyone sidestepped yet another anvil of foreshadowing.

“This is creepy.” Muttered Dawny, and Roxie nodded warily.

“So, dear members, I’d like to be your host.
‘Cause I think everyone deserves a chance to post!”

At this point, Dawny and Roxie were backing away fearfully, but Swifty didn’t seem to notice.

“And helping you with your ascent
Allows me to feel so…parental.
Call me funky…
A sentimental wizard-monkey.”

The music added on a rather sad note, as Swifty stared wistfully into the distance.

“That…was the scary.” Whimpered Roxie. Dawny gulped.

“Yeah…we’re gonna go RP now. In the ShadowClan boards…”She told Swifty cautiously. “Bye..”

As they exited, Swifty smiled maliciously. Now that they had decided to role-play in the ShadowClan boards, they would have to obey the human-right suppressing rules! The depressing threads in those boards would surely suppress their randomness. Which brought him one step closer to taking over the world with his army of…furbies.


Meanwhile, as Roxie and Dawny ventured through the boards, picking a place to post, they realized that the boards were almost…depressing.


“Let’s start here,” Roxie suggested, and they began to rp.

But as time went on, they found their posts growing longer and longer, and more depressing. Finally, it was Dawny’s turn again. When she looked back on the event later, she realized that she had no idea what had influenced her to do so but…she killed off Windsong in that very post. Roxie, oblivious to the matter, bounced off to reply.


AN//Okay, I have to stop here for a sec. This part is my favorite piece of what I’ve written so far…and also, It was the first chapter I ever wrote. It was actually meant to be a boredom-spawned one-chapter story spoofing Wicked…but then I decided to make a whole parody of it. So, yeah, this may not be entirely consistent, but I won’t change it since it’s the first thing I wrote –sniffles- and I did my best to make it fit. Also…the song pwns. Well, not the one I wrote, but the one it’s based off of. Clickith to hear. –Moment of silence- Damn it, Dallimore, get off the stage!! Ahem- yes…anyway, on to the story!


A few minutes later…


Dawny stared at Roxie warily as steam came from the other girl’s ears.

“Why is steam coming from your ears?” Dawny asked.

Roxie glowered at her. “I used to be hyper. Now that you’ve made me reply to that serious, sad thread, I’m gloomy!”

Gloomy? Dawny thought, wondering why her friend had chosen today of all days to use a dorky vocabulary. Deciding to dismiss it, she went to reply to Roxie’s post. To her horror, Roxie had only posted a one-liner.

“I hope you’re happy!” Dawny rounded on her.
“I hope you’re happy now!
I hope you’re happy how
Your post disgraced the nation,
And the role-playing sensation!”

Roxie’s fists clenched, and she replied.
“I hope you’re happy!
I hope you’re happy too!
I hope you’re proud how you’d
Try to make me cry
By telling me to reply!”

“So though I can’t imagine how!” They both randomly sang together.
“I hope you’re happy
Right
Now.”

But Roxie was shaking now, and Dawny began to feel sorry for her.

“Goldeh, don’t be afraid!” She said earnestly.

“I’m not!” Spat Roxie. “It’s YOU who should be afraid. Of ME!”

“Well say it, don’t spray it! Goldeh, listen to me. Just modify you’re post. Before it’s too late!” Dawny tried persuading her. Then, to Roxie’s surprise, she began to sing.

“You can still be a good writer,
Just like you’ve always been,
Just write a few more lines!”


Roxie bowed her head. “I know.” She said, and Dawny began to be hopeful.

“But I don’t want to,” Roxie continued.
“No—I can’t want to
Anymore…”

Roxie stood up taller.

“Something has changed with in me.
Something is not the same.”

Dawny’s eyes widened.

“I’m through with playing by
The rules of James Patterson’s game!
Too late to become an author,
Too late to scrounge up muse!
It’s time to trust my instincts,
And tie my brand new shoes!”

Roxie pumped her fist in the air to Dawny’s alarm,

“It’s time to try defying role-playing!
I think I’ll try defying role-playing!
And you can’t make me post!”

Dawny knew that her twin was out of line. She had to stop this insanity! Grabbing Roxie and shaking her by the shoulders, she replied in song.

“Maybe we should see a shrink,
It’s clear that you’re head’s getting bigger!”

Roxie pulled away. “I’m through obeying limits,
And posting paragraphs!
I have no muse for Warriors,
So maybe I’ll try role-playing giraffes!
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Being thought of as a “n00b”
If this is “advanced role-playing”,
I’m going back to You-Tube!


“You’re gonna die defying role-playing!” Dawny warned.

“Kiss me good-bye, I’m defying role-playing!” Yelled Roxie. Dawny blinked. Roxie stopped.

“Yeah…that was weird.” They both agreed.

“You’ll never stop me now!” Finished Roxie anyway. She looked at her friend and twin.

“Dawny—Come with me!
Unlimited,
Together we’re unlimited!
Together we’ll be the greatest team there’s ever been!
Dawny,
Plots the way we planned them.”

“If we severe our brain-stems!” Mused Dawny, her eyes sparkling.

“There’s no posts we’ll have to write!” They sang together.

“Just you and I, defying role-playing!
With you and I! Defying role-playing!
They’ll never bring us down.”

Roxie grabbed some random broomstick. “Well, are you coming?” She asked Dawny.

Dawny sighed. She was tempted to go with her friends and be free of advanced role-playing forever. They could join Trios Hogwarts and fit in with the beginners! And yet, she knew she couldn’t.

“I hope you’re happy,
Now that you’re choosing this.” Dawny sang finally.

“You too,” Roxie felt the need to interject.

They sang together again. “I hope it brings you bliss, I really hope you get it, and you don’t live to regret it!” Though both of them had by now forgotten what ‘it’ was, they continued.

“I hope you’re happy in the end!
I hope you’re happy, my friend!”

They hugged, before an earthquake-like rumbling could be heard.

“It’s a stampede!” Dawny exclaimed, frozen in fear while Roxie ran off.

A bunch of random cats that were probably characters from plots they had long forgotten about ran into the clearing and tackled Dawny to the ground.

“Unhand me, you barbarians!” Dawny yelled.

A cliff appeared out of nowhere, and Roxie bounded up its slope, broomstick in hand. “It’s not her! I’m the one who posted the one-liner! It’s me! It’s meeeeee!”

“Attention hog,” muttered Dawny as the cats released her. But she could barely be heard, as Roxie was now belting out the rest of the song at a totally unnecessary volume.

“SO STRAP ME IN A HARNASS!
AND HOIST ME UP TO THE SKY!
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,
I SWEAR I’M GONNA FIND A WAY TO FLY!

AND IF I’M FLYING SOLO,
PERHAPS THAT’S JUST AS WELL!
FOR THOSE WHO HATE ONE-LINERS,
Y’ALL CAN GO TO HEEEELLL!

AS LONG AS I AM DEFYING ROLE-PLAYING!
I MUST BE HIGH, DEFYING ROLE-PLAYING!
AND SOON I’LL MATCH THEM IN RENOWN!”

Though Roxie had no clue what this in fact meant, she continued.

“And nobody will make me melt,
Not Mistystar or Lionpelt,
They’re never gonna bring
MEEEEE DOWN!!”

“I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!” Called Dawny.


“LOOK AT HER, SHE’S RANDOM, GET HER!”
Yelled the charries.

“BRING MEEEEE DOWN!” Roxie yelled just to be annoying.

“NO ONE MOURNS THE RANDOM, SO WE’VE GOT TO BRING HER—“

“AHHHHHHHHH!!’

“---DOWN!!”

And with that, Roxie proceeded to jump off of the cliff and fly away on her broomstick.

“Uh, Rox, I don’t think—“Started Dawny, but it was too late. Roxie had jumped, and for a moment, she was suspended in the air.

Then…BANG!

She fell to the ground awkwardly.

“Ow…”

“That was random. Were we just…singing?” Asked Dawny.

Roxie blinked. “Well, what else is new?”

Dawny shrugged. “Wanna rp?”

“Sure!” Roxie said, and they skipped off.


INTERMISSION

[{ tessa }]

*looks at your siggy* Alas, Poor Yorick...*ahem* Right then.
Lmao! I lurve this story. The One Short Day song was AWESOME. And I love defying gravity!
“Oooooooooooo isn’t he wonderful? The wonderful Shadow!” Sang the clowns. It was then that Roxie and Dawny felt the need to add their own song. But if you did that at a real musical, you’d get shot. By Kristen Chenoweth...or maybe Erin Mackey, 'cause she rocks. Or maybe even both of them! In fact, yeah. All of the Glindas have formed a mafia, so don’t get any bright ideas.

=Hysterical

[squee.]

clowns -shudders-

[le Dawnz]

xDDD I remember that chapter!!! That's when we decided to make 'Defying Roleplaying' our theme song!

[Roxie !]

Tessa- -Gasp- Yorick, don't listen to that nonsense.It's Shakespearian. xDD But anyway, thankies! I kinda scared myself with the One Short Day thing. And I luff it too. O.o Yeah. Wouldn't that be scary?

Lineh- I knew I was gonna scare someone with that! Should've guessed it would've been you xDD. Yeah...I should change the genre to horror.And it was a MUSICAL about clowns, too -hides-.

Dawneh-Yupyup! I don't even remember why I wrote that -randomness- ah well, and I've created a monster with it O.o. Naw. You'll all learn to love this story -evil laughter-. And I know! T'is only the bestest theme song in the world -nod-

[Roxie !]

<sub>Another chapter comin' round the mountain. Man, that's one of the phrases I never wish I heard. Like 'drop it while it's hot'...Eh, okay. I'll stop quoting now. Anyway, sorry for the sloppiness in this one. I usually have my friend be my writing 'beta' and make sure my spelling isn't too horrendous. But she couldn't, so long story short, this thing ain't spell checked, grammar checked, or sense-checked(are any of 'em?). And this chapter actually got my mom to chuckle...though she has no idea what's going on. Maybe she was laughing at my stupidity though ^^

ACT II

Chapter 10: In Which Dawny becomes a victim of inner-conflict

Two years passed after the catastrophic events of the last Act. Don’t ask how. You should be more concerned with preparing yourself, because Act II starts directly in the center of a riot. As of now, Roxie’s where-abouts are unknown, while Lineh has inherited the co-admin title and is the leader of WindClan with Pete Wentz at her side, and Dawny has become Swifty—or Shadow’s, as he is known as to the rest of LP, right-hand woman and publicity figure. Just FYI.

“EVERYDAY THE RANDOM!”

The best way to start out your second act is with a loud, obnoxious, reprising song.

“Everyday, the terror grows!
The whole site is ever on alert!” Sang a few toms. Mikkikko, Bandedtail, and Frost to be exact.

“That’s the way with random!
Posting one-liners wherever she goes!
Seeking out new victims to corrupt!” Added Twilight, Rosebloom, and Sandstorm.

“Like some terrible child’s kite,
Throughout the land she flies!” Cried a hysterical kitty-cat.

“Spamming our poor site
With her calumnies and lies!” Cried another.

“She lies!” Yowled everyone.

“Save us from the random!
Shield us so we won’t be hexed!
Give us warning, where will she strike next?
Where will she strike next?
Where will she strike…next?”


Dawny, Roger, and Skystar huddled together in a corner, whispering and eying the kitty-cats fearfully.

“Well, DO something.” Demanded Skystar.

“Like what?! I’m no good at speeches!” Hissed Dawny.

“Well…improvise, go on!”

With that, Roger and Skystar pushed the struggling Dawny onto the stage that had been conveniently placed in front of the rioting crowd.

“Fellow kitty-cats,” She began nervously. “As terrifying as terror is, let us put aside our torches and pitchforks for this one day…” She grinned. “And celebrate!”

Everyone cheered, though they had no clue what they were celebrating.

“Oh, what a celebration we’ll have today!” Dawny sang, frantically trying to bide time until she could think of an actual excuse to celebrate.

“Thank goodness!” Sang the crowd.

“Let’s have a celebration the Dawny way!”

“Thank goodness!” Added the crowd again, while Lineh just looked frightened.

Skystar felt the need to add, “Finally a day that’s totally unrealisticly—“

“We couldn’t be sappier!” Everyone cut her off, and it’s true, you know. Read over some of our old posts. Particularly mine. “Thank goodness!”

“And thank goodness for you, Dawny!” Skystar remarked, teary-eyed. “You’ve made our whole site so worth-wile, and we wouldn’t be here without you! And your handsome swain, of course, the new Captain of the Guard…I didn’t even know we had those here, but oh well.” She smiled slightly, before turning to Roger. “You’ve been at the forefront of the hunt for that random bit—I mean…witch, haven’t you?” She asked him.

Roger blinked. “Uh…not really. But I don’t like to think of her as a random ‘bitwitch’…” He started, but Skystar would hear none of it.

“Captain, how does it feel?” She asked through gritted teeth.

“Frustrating.” Snapped Roger.

“Noooo you silly billy!” Giggled Dawny, slapping him. “She meant…to be engaged!” A lightbulb suddenly popped on over her head. “Yeah…that’s what this celebration is about. My engagement! I knew it all along…hehe.”

Roger stared. “Did you…just propose to me?”

“Now, honey, I know it’s a bit sudden…”

“Shut up!” Sobbed Roger. “You don’t know smack!”

“ ‘Smack’ ?” Questioned the kitty-cats. “Where can we get some?” Oh no they didn’t.

“Riiiight…” Skystar’s plastered smile faltered. “Dawny, break into song again. This is getting awkward.”
“Okay!” Dawny said cheerfully.
“That’s why…we couldn’t be sappier!
Right, dear?” She nudged Roger hard, sending him flying out some random window…even though they were already outside.
“Couldn’t be sappier” She continued.
“Right here!
Look what we’ve got, a romantic plot
With an over-done happy ending!
And we couldn’t be sappier!
True, dear?” As Roger scuttled back in, Dawny nudged him again, sending him flying to who-knows-where.

“I’m flying!” Shouted Roger. “No…I’m defying gravity!”

It’s time foooor Lineh’s Random commentary!

“Wouldn’t that sound stew-pid?” Lineh giggle-snorted. “ ‘I think I’ll try flying!’ That’d totally ruin the moment. Then all the Wicked-freaks would be obsessing over some song called ‘Flying’.”

Roger landed ungracefully beside Lineh. “Is there a difference between flying and defying gravity?”

“Technically, you’re not defying gravity if you have, you know, wings.” Lineh pointed out.

“So…Roxie isn’t a bitwitch. She’s an astronaut.”

“There's no gravity in space, Roger.”

“Okay, okay, I got it! She's a unicorn!”

Meanwhile, Dawny glared at them reproachfully. She cleared her throat pointedly.
“Couldn’t be sappier,
And we’re happy to share
The sappiness vicariously with all of you!
He couldn’t look handsomer!”

“Is that even a word?” Asked Lineh.

“I couldn’t feel humbler!” Dawny raised her voice.
“We couldn’t be sappier!
Because sappy is what happens
When all your dreams come true!”

“And we’re so happy for you, dear!” Skystar gushed. “Why, it seems like only yesterday…”

“It was.”

“…Just let me tell the story!
The day you were first summoned
To an audience with Shadow,
And although he would not tell you why initially
When you bowed before his throne,
He decreed you hence be known
As Glinda the Good, officially!”

Dawny stared blankly. “Are you sure this wasn’t a dream? I have no recollection…wait. What the heck is a ‘Glinda’?”

“It sounds like a mouthwash!” Roger perked up.

“Or a disease.” Lineh added.

“I wasn’t finished!” Pouted Skystar. “Anyway… Then, with a jealous ‘squeee’!”

“Squee?”

“Squee.
Some random person burst from concealment
Where she had been lurking
SURREPTITIALLY!”

Everyone gasped, more at the use of a big word than anything else.

“I hear she has an extra eye that always remains awake!” Yelled the Cyclops.

“I hear she can shed her skin as easily as a snake!” Screamed a hysterical kitty-cat.

“I hear some rebel Animals are giving her food and shelter!” Said Lineh, just trying to start a fight or something.

“I hear her soul is so unclean—pure water can melt her!”

There was a pause.

“Pssh, who told you THAT one?” Snorted Gorsetail.

“Who were we talking about again?” Asked Roger.

“PLEASE! Somebody go and melt her!”

“Whatever.” Roger huffed. “You people are gullible. I’m out. Peace.” He held up his index and middle fingers, and randomly added a thumb. Oh yeah! The Dawnie way.

Dawny chuckled nervously. “Roger…Roger?! Don’t leave me alone with them!” She scurried after him.

“I can’t just pretend to go along with all of this!” He snarled once Dawny had caught up.

“Me neither! I’m going to take a stand. I’m changing my name—“

“NO! Let’s just leave. They probably won’t even notice.”

Dawny whimpered. “B-But the people! I love the people!”

“Well I don’t! Let’s go find Roxie. We can form a rock band and change our names.” Roger suggested.

“Roger,” Dawny placed a hand on his shoulder. “She doesn’t want to be found. So let’s go back to our engagement party.” She smiled gently at him. Roger’s eyes shifted.

“Um…look! Something shiny!” He pointed. Dawny whipped around, and he tore off into the shadows.

“What?! No, wait…” Dawny called, but it was too late. Roger had gone. She peered around anxiously, before sighing deeply.

Happy face, happy face, happy face, happy face… She turned aroung with a shaky grin. “He’s gone to get me a refreshment. Isn’t that sweet?”

“Alcoholic.” Somebody coughed.

“No!” Dawny yelled defiantly. “Alcohol is for people with low self-esteem. I am a patriotic person who will fight for what she knows is right. I’m going to turn this site into a place where we can all be full of sunshine. Where we can be….a family.” She sniffled.

“That’s why…I couldn’t be sappier.
No, I couldn’t be sappier…
Though, it is, I admit,
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated…” She began to sing again, though this time, her words were slightly drearier.

“But, I couldn’t be sappier..
Simply, couldn’t be sappier..
Well…not simply.
Because getting your dreams,
It’s strange, but it seems
A little, well…complicated.
There’s a kind of a, sort of a…cost.
There’s a couple of things getting lost.
There are tomatoes you’ve tossed
You didn’t know that you tossed
Until you tossed…”

The crowd raised the fruity vegetables and paused. “Wait…what?”

“Oh well, just throw ‘em!” Yelled the guy with the pitchfork. Dawny merely sniffled as the tomatoes(that’s toe MAY toes, thank you) were thrown in her general direction of generalness.

“And if that joy, that thrill…
Doesn’t thrill like you think it will, still.
With this perfect finale,
The cheers and the ballyhoo—“

“Where do we keep getting these words like ‘hoi polloi’ and ‘ballyhoo’? My god, we need a new writer.” Yelled Lineh.

I’ll have you know, we do not need a new writer. I am perfectly capable of writing a decent story and staying completely concentrated and dedicated to…um…one sec. I’m hungry.






Yeah, anyway, what was I saying? Dedication. Big, big word. Four syllables. Or is it five…? Am I boring you? Good.

“Whooooo couldn’t be sappier?
So, I couldn’t be sappier!
Because sappy is what happens
When your dreams…
Come…
True!”

“WE LOVE YOU DAWNY IF WE MAY BE SO FRANK!” yelled the stalkers.

“Thank goodness!” Squealed Dawny. Who is actually Dawnie, now that I think of it. But it’d be weird. Dawneh to Dawny to Dawnie….Galinda to Glinda to…Glinduh. Or Bob. So we’re sticking with Dawny…for now. That was your cue to break into song, by the way. If you don’t know what I mean, look it up. But we all know you won’t. You’ll just say you did. You failed. Failed.

“FOR ALL THIS CHEESY-NESS WE KNOW WHO WE’VE GOT TO THANK!”

“Thank goodness!”

“That means Shadow, Dawny…”

“And fiancé!” Dawny added randomly, pointing to her Roger plushie.

“They couldn’t be goodlier!
She couldn’t be lovlier!
We couldn’t be luckier!” This was the stalkers again.

“Thank goodness!
Todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!”

Bam.</sub>

[{ tessa }]

Ive been waiting for this chapter this WHOLE story. LMAO! Awesome job.
Omg you know what you should do? You should make like a "sequel" to this using a different musical.

[Roxie !]

_{xDDD Well golly.(did I just say that?) I dun know if you guys can handle much more torture. If I DID...any suggestions as to the actual musical? Couldn't do Rent...too sad. DEFINATELY not Avenue Q...Waywayway too innopropriate. Unless I cut out a certain 'song'. Umm...Maybe Cats. Or Chicago xDDD. Or maybe I could do a movie! Pirates of the Caribbean much. Naw. Im getting ahead of myself. I havent even finished THIS one.}