Cool like third degree burns...

[Roxie !]

Chapter Five Point Five: Of Pears and Michael Jackson

While those two were busy being cheesy, Roxie was busy helping Lineh get ready for her date with Pete Wentz.

“It’s a CULT, I tell you! They worship that boy.” Roxie finished her rant about Roger, her fists clenching violently.

“Jeeaallouus!” Sang Lineh.

“Am not!” Scowled Roxie.

“Yeah, yeah, well, go be a loser somewhere else. I’m going to the party at the Random Whatever board tonight!” Lineh gushed. Roxie’s eyes widened.

“What?! With who?”

“Pete Wentz. He was too shy to ask me at first, but with encouragement from Dawneh, he finally wound up the nerve.”

“DAWNEH did this?” Roxie scoffed.

Lineh abruptly stood up in her wheelchair and grabbed Roxie by her shirt collar. “You got somethin’ to say about my new BFF?!”

Roxie whimpered.

“I didn’t think so.” Lineh answered herself calmly, sitting back down. “Now…pretend that you didn’t just see me stand out of my wheelchair. It’s just….well, isn’t it wonderful?”

Roxie watched blankly as some strange force took over Lineh, and finally caused the last sane member of StarClan’s Lighted Path Two to break out into song.

“Finally for this one night,
I’m about to have a fun night,
With that hot guy
Dawneh paired me with!
And I only wish there were
Something I could do for her!
To repay her,
Roxie, see?
We deserve each other,
And Dawneh helped it come true!
We deserve each other, me and Pete…Roxie, try to understand.”

“I do…” Roxie answered, though she was more confused than ever.



Back on MSN, Dawneh was preparing for the online party with her friends, Torneh and Maddie.

“I want my profile to look extra special! What icon should I use?”

“Hmm…” Torneh pondered.

“Oh! I know!” Dawneh did not wait for an answer. “My Great Aunt Hephzibah sent me one over email, I could use it.” With that, she proceeded to open her email.

All three gasped at the sight. It was an icon with a grey stone background, and picture of a pointed black hat sitting there forlornly.

“IT’S…IT’S…” Stage-whispered Maddie.

“HIDEOCREOUS!” Finished Torneh in a similar tone.

“Ach!” Dawneh hissed. “I should have known. Hephzibah always sends me the most horrible icons. I’d give it away…but I don’t hate anyone that much.”

“Maybe not…” Maddie said slyly. “But you LOATHE someone that much.”

Dawneh paused, and then a light-bulb clicked in her head. She looked horrified. “Oh no, I couldn’t…”

“Yes you could!” Squealed Torneh.

They all whipped around abruptly as Roxie signed on. Dawneh fidgeted uncomfortably, sighed, and bounded forward.

“Listen, Lineh and I were just talking about you—“Roxie began, but Dawneh cut her off.

“And I was just talking about you!” Dawneh chuckled nervously. “I thought you could use this icon for the party tonight!

It’s really, uh, sharp, don’t you think?
You know, black is this year’s pink!(That line is way too cool to be spoofed)

You deserve each other,
The icon and you,
You’re both so…smart!
You deserve each other,
So here, out of the goodness of my heart…” With that Dawneh gave her the link to the icon innocently and ran off. Roxie just stared at the picture, bemused. She liked it…it was…random!



LATER THAT NIGHT

The party was turning out great. Everyone was spamming and cyber-dancing. Lineh and Pete Wentz stood to the side, awkwardly holding hands.

“So…what’s in the punch?” Lineh asked as Pete Wentz sipped some.

“Lemons, and melons, and pears,” Pete Wentz replied.

“Oh my!” Lineh exclaimed.

Pete Wentz nodded. “Uh…Lineh?

“Yes?”

“Lineh,
I know you’re names not Hermione,
But I need to tell you why I asked you here tonight.
Now I know it isn’t fair…” He began.

Lineh held up a hand. “I know why.
It’s because you like the pears?
And you wanted to drink punch.
Well, isn’t that right?”

Pete Wentz blinked. In his surprise, he chickened out. “No…No! It’s because…because… Because you are so beautiful!” Never mind that he couldn’t see her online.

“Oh, Pete, I think you’re wonderful!” Lineh replied. Add another cheesy moment to add to the scrap-book and gag everyone.

“And we deserve each other,
Don’t you see?
This is our chance!” She continued.

“We deserve each other,
Don’t we Pete?”

“You know what—“ Pete Wentz said firmly. “Let’s dance!”


“What?!” Lineh looked shocked.

“Let’s DANNNNCE!”

And with that, Pete Wentz proceeded to wheel her chair around the room lamely.


“Hey! Nooo touching the wheelchair pal. This is our first date!” Snapped Lineh, but she could not heard over the others singing and dancing.

Amongst all the chaos, Skystar looked on in disapproval, but dismissed it and ran over to Dawneh.

“Miss Dawneh…I have something for you.” Skystar reluctantly handed her a card. Dawneh read it, and her eyes widened.

“Oh my gosh! This is YOUR card! Does that mean I get to finally be in your role-playing class?!” Squealed Dawneh.

Skystar sighed, admitting her defeat.

“Oh! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!” Dawneh thanked her, before taking a deep breath and continuing. “Thaaaaannnk—“

“Enough!” Bellowed Skystar. “Frankly, I hate you. But Miss Roxie blackmailed me and told me that if I didn’t let you in, she’d quit. And I need her for my world domination plans…so yeah. Knock yourself out.” And with that, the Admin headed over to the punch bowl.

Dawneh looked stunned and suddenly guilty.

“What is it?” Asked Roger, noticing.


“I gave my roommate this ugly icon thing and she accidentally liked it and got me into role-playing class and now she’s going to come here, and everyone’s going to laugh at her.” Whimpered Dawneh. Roger stared blankly.

“I got what I wanted.” She explained, more simply.

“Oh. I couldn’t care less. Let’s dance.”


It was then that Roxie logged on. Everyone gasped and started snickering at her icon.

“Don’t look!” Squealed Dawneh.

“I know, I’m blinded by it!” Agreed Roger.

“No, I meant don’t make fun—“


But it was too late. Roxie had realized what happened, and gave Dawneh an evil stare before pointedly turning her back and starting to…dance. Very horribly.


“Oooh man.” Laughed Roger, but Dawneh paid no attention. Instead, she hesitantly wandered over to the dancing dork and tapped her shoulder.

“Excuse me. May I cut in?”

Roxie just stared for a moment, before finally stepping aside. Dawneh stepped forward, cleared her throat, and began.

“’CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER! THRILLER NIGHT! THERE AIN’T NO SECOND CHANCE AGAINST THIS THING ABOUT TO STRIKE!” And with that, she began to dance, if possible, more horribly than Roxie had been doing. Roxie merely stared for a long moment, before deciding that somehow, this was Dawneh’s way of apologizing. Perhaps it was a popular ritual that normal people participated in.

And so, Roxie began to dance as well, and each of them tried to forget how incredibly stupid they looked. The members all stared in shock, trying to decide whether they’d finally lost it.

“Ah well,” Decided Winter. “Couldn’t hurt.”

And with that, everyone began dancing.

“PRANCING THROUGH LIFE,
DANCING LIKE MJ
IF ONLY CAUSE BALLET
IS WHAT WE’VE COME TO!
AND THE STRANGE THING,
YOUR LIFE COULD END UP CHANGING
WHEN YOU’RE PRANCING…
THROUGH!”


And that was how the members of StarClan’s Lighted Path 2 became insane.


The end.

….Not. I couldn’t let y’all off that easily! See you next time for an even more insane, terrifying, badly written and horribly rhyming chapter.

[squee.]

-reads, then sobs again- Stupid Pete. I wanna dump him for someone else now. -nodnod-

[le Dawnz]

O.o Never thought I'd hear that phrase come out of Jess's mouth... er... keyboard... don't look at me! -hides under couch-

[Roxie !]

-Gasp- Forgive me...I have sinned x.x -Hides behind Dawneh's couch-

Anyway...sorreh for the delay. I was feeling museless. And when you're too museless to write this nonsense, you KNOW somethin's wrong. But, read on....if you dare.

Chapter 6: In Which We Ponder The True Nature of This Story, Ourselves, and The Meaning of Life. Or you could call it "The Authoress Is Too Lazy To Think of A Decent Title"

It was late at night when Dawneh and Roxie burst into their virtual dorm thing, the latter looking rather worn out while Dawneh bounced over to her bed happily.

“You’re very first party ever?!” Dawneh demanded.

Roxie nodded. “If funerals don’t count.”

“Why would funerals count?! Do you CELEBRATE at funerals?! What kind of heartless person ARE you?!” Sobbed Dawneh. The members of LP who had just sang ‘No One Mourns the Random’ coughed pointedly.

“B-But I was joking.” Sniffled Roxie.

“Oh!” Dawneh brightened at once. “Well, in that case, I can’t believe it was your very first party! And it was online! You know, that’s kinda sad. But whatever. YOU’RE VERY FIRST PARTY!” She squeed.

This was becoming redundant. “Announce it to the world why don’t you!” Snapped Roxie irritably.

“Oh, I already did.” Her new friend replied seriously. It was that moment that the door burst open, and in came at least ten reporters.

“STAMPEDE!” Screamed Roxie, diving under the virtual bed.

“Where’d she go?” The reporters blinked stupidly.

“She went out. To a Chinese restaurant.” Dawneh supported blankly.

“Oh…” Rather dismally, the reporters cleared out. Once she was sure they were gone, Roxie scrambled out from under the bed.

“Dawneh?”

“Yeeees?”

“Why did you TELL them to come here if you were only going to lie about my whereabouts to get rid of them?” Roxie asked out of pure curiosity.

Dawneh grinned. “Because we have something important to discuss that I just remembered…and ‘cause I like torturing people.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“So…um…what did you want to discuss?”

“Well, we’re best friends now, Roxie.” Dawneh explained, as if to a three year old.

Roxie blinked. “We are?”

“Well that dancing thing was completely sappy, so yeah, pretty much.”

“Okay!” Roxie grinned. “So…what do best friends do?”

“They share secrets.” Dawneh told her. “So that’s what we’re going to do. We’ll tell each other something we’ve never told anyone else! I’m going first.” She took a deep breath.

“….Roger-Mark-Benjamin-Collins-Angel-Joanne-Maureen-Mimi-Fiyero-McBob and I are going to be married!” Squealed Dawneh.

Roxie stared in disbelief. “He asked you already?”

“No.”

Roxie blinked. “Oh…?”

“I haven’t told him yet.” Dawneh duh’d. “Now…you tell me a secret!”

Roxie sniffed. “I have no secrets.”

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

….An hour later…

“Not.”

“Too!”

“Not.”

“Yes, you do!” Huffed Dawneh. “Like…why you sleep with this weird bottle thing!” Dawneh now has x-ray vision. Deal with it. She saw the bottle behind the pillow and snatched it quickly away before Roxie could do anything.

“Noooo! That’s powerplaying!” Whined Roxie.

“That’s just stupid. In real life, you wouldn’t try to hit someone and then, inches away from their face, stop and say ‘You’re turn to respond. You can dodge if you want’.”

Roxie stopped, frowning. “You know…you have a point there. Still, gimme!”

Dawneh lifted the bottle high above their heads and held Roxie back by her forehead as she attempted to reach it. You know…like in those cartoons. Still, finally, Roxie managed to retrieve the bottle. Praise Lurline or the Kumbric Witch or the Unnamed God or whatever it is that people pray to around here. Oh wait! StarClan! It was a miracle! Anyway, you get the point. Roxie got her bottle back.

“It was my mother’s.” She sniffled.

Dawneh sighed. “Well, that’s not fair. I told you a good one!” She complained.

“Oh yeah? My father hates me.”

Dawneh gasped.

“That wasn’t the secret.”

“Oh...”

Roxie looked at the ground. “It’s my fault…”

Dawneh patted her back. “That Lineh is in a wheelchair and that your mother is dead because you’re father didn’t want Lineh to turn out brunette and random like you so he made your mom chew some random milkweed that made Lineh be born early and your mother died giving birth?” She guessed kindly, nodding in understanding…ment.

Roxie stared. “No…it’s my fault that Pluto isn’t a planet anymore.”

“WHAT?! Geez, way to reduce the angst! Kill the mood! Pop the bubble! Turn that frown upside down, why don’t you?!” Dawneh snarled, before realizing that she had done so and blinking apologetically. “I-I mean--That may be your secret, Roxie,” She added quickly. “But that doesn’t make it true.”

They smiled as sappy Disney music momentarily filled the room.

Then Dawneh spoke abruptly. “So! Pet-name time! I shall call you…Goldeh. Do you like it?”

“Well, it’s a little perky…” Roxie considered this.

“And you can call me…Dawneh!”

Well, that settled it. “Anyways, Goldeh, now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project!”

Roxie looked nervous. “Um…you really don’t have to do that.

“That’s okay!”

“No, I mean you really really really really really really—

“Oh, don’t be modest! That’s what makes me so nice!” Dawneh beamed at her.


“Whenever I see someone less cheerful than I,
And let’s face it, who isn’t less cheerful then I?
All my bows and pom-poms start to bleed.
And when someone is so grey-ified,
I simply am dismay-ifed!
I know, I know exactly what they need!
And even in your case.” Dawneh paused her singing to survey Roxie skeptically.

“Though it’s the toughest case I’ve yet to face…
Don’t worry, I’m determined to succeed!
Follow my lead,
And yes, indeed…
You
Will
Be
Perkified.
You’re gonna be perkyyyyfied!”
She sang, wisely choosing this last line over “You’re going to be perkyyyfied!” Because it really does make all the difference. The song just doesn’t sound right otherwise. Just try singing that outloud. "Popular. You're GOING TO be popuuuular." Does that sound right? No. Embrraaace the bad grammar in the lyrics, people. Don't do Dallimore. So yes, Dawneh actually sang it RIGHT unlike SOME annoying British people who thoroughly annoy the author right now. Guess who, I’ll give you a cookie. Anyway, right. Dawneh is singing…

“You’ll learn to love big rainbows!
And painting your toes!
And unicorns with wings!
I’ll teach you to be demure,
Give you a manicure,
And we’ll obsess over shiney things!

When you’re perkified!
I know about perkyyyfied!
And if you’ll just stick with me,
I’m so sure you’ll see,
The grounds behind my cruside—er, crusade.
It’s absurd to be quirky
When you can be perkyfied…fayed.
LAAAAAAAAA LAAAAAAA!
LAAAAAAA LAAAAAAAA!
Elmo’s world!”
Dawneh danced and giggled and twirled around the room to the surprise and wariness of Roxie. And no, Dawnz, you may not ruin the moment by pointing out that you aren’t perky. Bear with me for this one…musical number, ‘cause I gave you x-ray vision! Anyways, Roxie, by now, had given up trying to follow the lyrics and the choreography of this song. Dawneh continued anyway.

“When I see depressed cutters,
Thrownin’ their lives in the gutters,
I remind them on their own behalf to think of:
Celebrated cheerleaders and ‘specially cheery flight attendants!
Did they have eyeliner or razors?
Don’t make me laugh!
They were perkified, please!
It’s all about perkyyyfied!
It’s not about ‘personal style’,
It’s how much you smile!
So it’s worth your while to be…
Very, very perkified
Like me!”

She paused. Roxie blinked. “What?” For Dawneh was frowning slightly.

“It’s just…I feel quite shallow right now. We all should. Why are the lyrics in this musical teaching us to abandon “personal style” and “prance through life”? Life isn’t about ignoring your problems!” Dawneh suddenly began to feel quite patriotic. Roxie, meanwhile, was staring blankly.

“It isn’t?” She asked in surprise.

“Well, no…”

“Oh.” Roxie wiped the moment of confusion away. “Well, cheer up! At least you’re not singing about being…I dunno…popular or something.”

Dawneh brightened, and giggled. “Pssh yeah, what kind of airhead would do that?” She scoffed, before suddenly turning serious. “Now hold still.”

It was like something from a Looney Tunes episode. Dawneh whizzed around Roxie in a mini-tornado of sorts, before backing away. Somehow, Roxie now looked completely different. Lip-stick and other various make-up had been applied. Her hair was separated into two fluffy pig-tails, each tied with a pink bow. She was holding a pair of pom-poms and in her lap, a tube of shampoo-like substance that, you know, people dip that little stick into and blow bubbles with. I have no idea what it’s called, but it’s fun.

“Just one more thing…” Dawneh decided, taking out some random flower from out of nowhere and sticking it and Roxie’s still-not-blonde hair. She stepped back to admire her work.

“Yup…pink goes good with…brown. Anyway!” Dawneh looked Roxie up and down again. “Look at you, Goldeh! You’re perky!” She squealed, handing the other girl a mirror. Roxie took it, and examined herself carefully.

“Hmmm…I think this is a new look for me.” Roxie stated approvingly. “Or a new Halloween costume.” She suddenly glanced down at the object on her lap and squeed loudly. “Oh! BUBBLES! I wanna go show Lineh!” And with that, she bounded off. Dawneh stared after her for a moment, misty-eyed.

“T-They grow up so fast.” She sniffled to herself, before breaking into slightly slower song once again.

“And though you protest
Your disinterest…
I know that you’ll progress…
And someday you’re gonna see it,
Your awesome super-perky-ness!” She squealed and danced a little for good measure.

“LAAAA LAAAA!
LAAAA LAAAA!
You will be perkified!
Just not quite as perkified…
As…
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

As her song ended, Dawneh looked around. The only noises that dared break the sudden silence were the cricket noises in the background. Once she was sure she was entirely alone, she burst into a fit of giggles. Or more precisely, cackles.

“Muhahahaha! I can’t believe I actually got her to put BOWS in her hair!”

Children, there is a lesson to be learned from all of this. Ponder it while I go find something better to do.

P.S: O.O I have this weird urge to suddenly do 'One Short Day'. Even though that'd be skipping ahead. Ah well, patience is a virtue -hums-

[le Dawnz]

H. Dallimore! Now where is my cookie?! -foams at mouth-

[Roxie !]

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Hard, wasn't it? xD Nooow...what kind would you like? I have Peanut Butter, Oatmeal and Raisin, Sugar, Chocolate Chip, and...Oreos. -Nod-

Hey! I know! I'll put random references in all my chapters...and if people can guess, they get cookies! -Innocent smile-

[Roxie !]

Okay--Here's another. I'm extremely afraid to put this one up...It is horrible. the song lyrics are going to make your eyes bleed. Ah well...

Chapter 7: There's Nothin' Like an Angsty Love Triangle to be...Angsty.

Oh, look! It’s tomorrow!

“Why is she so obsessed with that quote?” Muttered the LP members.

“Because it’s the perfect way to start the chapter. And Galinda rocks.” Snapped the authoress.

That said, everyone filed into Dr.Tessamond’s class.

“I’m telling you, it was a dinosaur!” Insisted Roxie, in mid-conversation with Lineh.

“It couldn’t have been.” Her sister replied.

“Why not?”

“Dinosaurs are extinct.”

“Oh…then it was Big Foot.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No infinity!”

It went on like this for sometime, before Roger walked into the room and stopped dead, staring at Roxie.

“What?” She snapped at him.

“You’ve been…Dawnehfied.”

“Actually, I’ve been perkified. Good of you to notice.” Roxie sniffed, sitting down. The class fell into sudden silence.

“Alright, alright, settle down.” Dr. Tessamond said irritably. Even though members were already completely silent…it was just for effect. “I have something to say, and very little time to say it.”

Everyone stared blankly.

“Yes well, I regret to tell you that…I’VE BEEN FIRED!” She broke down into tears. “IT’S RACISM! SUPPRESSION! FIGHT IT, STUDENTS, FIGHT IT! I WILL have my revenge! Baaaaahaaahahaha!” The Goat’s eye twitched as she was dragged away by the two guards, who had appeared out of nowhere.

“Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!” Sobbed Roxie. Everyone else just shrugged and continued talking. It was then that a new teacher walked into the room. A teacher who was definitely NOT Tessamond in disguise. Definitely not. Because she had a one hundred percent not fake white beard that was about two times as long as any Disney Princess’s hair that you could name. She peered at them through half-moon spectacles that were, again, definitely not bought from MuggleNet.

“I am Professor Tessadore—“

“I told you to leave, goat!” Snapped Skystar, who had been there the whole time.

“Fine!” Pouted Tessamond. “But you will be sorry. You’ll all be sorry.”

And with that, she slithered away into the shadows. Skystar let the ominous moment pass. “Ahem,” She stated after awhile. “Yes, well. Here is your real new teacher. I’d like to proudly introduce you all to…Miss Rosey Rose Rosefang.”

Rosey nodded to them all. “S’up.”

Skystar eyed her disapprovingly, before sighing and leaving the classroom.

Lineh raised her hand.

“Yes?” Inquired Rosey.

“What…just happened?” She asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Well,” Rosey responded slowly. “You’re poor former teacher, Dr. Tessamond, has been taken away to be locked up in some god-forsaken hell-hole because she tried to post a one-liner, and we must suppress her not-so-human rights. But you aren’t supposed to know that.”

The students nodded in acceptance.

“Anyway,” continued Rosey. “On with the lesson.” Her eyes brightened. “Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by my self! And I’m going to teach something relevant…something modern. The Internet!”

The whole class groaned. Then, to their surprise, Rosey began to sing.

“The Internet is really really great!”

“For porn!” Sang someone.

“Trekkie!” Snarled Rosey.

Trekkie looked up. “Oh, ‘ello Kate Monster.”

“You are ruining my song!”

“Oh, me sorry, me no mean to.”

“Fine. If you sorry lot of duplicitous, larcenous ursines are going to ruin the lesson, I’ll just have to teach you something else.” She continued, offended. “Here. Let’s watch what happens when you torture poor baby animals…or Animals. You decide.”


And so a cart was rolled into the room. But not just any cart. On top of it was a large cage. But not just any cage. Inside it was a little lion cub. But not just any lion cub. A Lion Cub.


Everyone gasped.

“How can she do that?”

“This is a Warriors site, lions or Lions, for that matter, aren’t allowed!”

These were only a few of the whispers that filled the room.

“You see?” Asked Rosey, oblivious to all of this. “Inhumane studies have shown that if you keep Animals in cages, they lose their ability to write one-liners.”

Suddenly, sparks began to fly everywhere. Everyone, except for Roger and Roxie, began to spazz out uncontrollably.

“Whoa!” Roger stared at Roxie, who the obvious cause of this. “You have anger management issues.”

Roxie didn’t appear to hear him; she merely bounded to the front of the room and began attempting to carry the Lion cage.

“Oh, my, this cage is so heavy, whatever will I do?” She asked in a Southern accent that was louder than necessary. Roger just stared.

“I said, this cage is—Dang nabbit, just help me carry the darned cage.”

Roger shrugged, and together they tumbled rather awkwardly out the door.

“Okay, we can’t just put it down anywhere.” Roxie told him bossily.

“I know that! You must think I’m really stupid or something.” He spat back.

“No, not REALLY stupid...”

It took a moment for this to sink in, but then he scowled. “Yeah, whatever. So how come I was the only one that didn’t have some sort of seizure in there?” Asked Roger.


Roxie blushed slightly, and searched frantically for a change of subject. “Oh, um, the Lion scratched your face. Lemme get that for you…” She giggled slightly and dabbed at the cut.

“Awwwkward.” Dawneh called.

“Yeah, uh…thanks?” Roger blinked and backed away. “I’d better get to safety…I mean…get the Cub to safety…yeah. Bye!”

And with that, he was gone, leaving Roxie to stare in wistful wistfulness after him. She sighed sadly, her eyes reverting to the ground. She was bored, so it was time to get angsty.

“Hands touch…eyes meet.
Too bad he doesn’t want to cheat.
‘Cause my best friend is his ‘special’ girl.
He could be that boy…
But I’m not that girl.” She began to sing.

“Did you just rhyme ‘girl’ with ‘girl?’” Lineh offered her commentary.

“This is better than Desperate Housewives,” Dawneh added, stuffing popcorn into her mouth.

“Don’t watch from afar.
This attraction is bizarre.” Roxie sniffled.

“Wow, she is REALLY bad at improvising songs.” Continued Lineh.

“Don’t remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy…
But I’m not that girl.”

“That time it didn’t even rhyme!” Giggled Dawneh.

Roxie ignored them.

“Every so often, we long to steal
Our best friend’s new guy.
But that doesn’t soften that ominous feel,
She’ll find out, and then we’ll die.

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who’s winsome, she wins him.
Gold hair with a gentle curl—“

“For the last time, MY HAIR IS NOT BLONDE!” Snarled Dawneh.

“That’s the girl he chose—“

“Damn right.”

“And heaven knows—“

“It’s StarClan.”

“I’m not….that girl.” Roxie finished, wiping a tear away.

Dawneh sighed and turned away angrily.

“Is she done?” Asked Lineh, who hadn’t been able to take any more of the song.

“I think so.” Responded Dawneh.

Lineh sighed in relief, and took her earplugs out.

“I don’t get it. They just met! How do they have feelings for each other?” She asked.

Dawneh shrugged. “Pick a Disney movie, any Disney movie. It happens all the time. Hey, I’m gonna go make her jealous. Be right back.” And with that, she grabbed Roger and dragged him toward the bridge that Roxie was suddenly under, because it started raining to accompany the chapter’s angsty theme. When she saw the pair together, Roxie’s eyes teared up all over again.

“Oh no, she’s got a second wind…” Groaned Lineh.

“Don’t wish. Don’t pine.
No one wants to hear you whine.
I wasn’t born for the rose and pearl.
There’s a girl I know,
He loves her so…
I’m not that girl.”

With that, Roxie broke into sobs.

“Oh the drama!” Cried a voice dramatically. Roxie choked and looked up to see Skystar standing next to her. Roxie yelped in surprise and stumbled backward.

“Geez! You’re like a pop-up book from hell!”

Skystar eyed her disapprovingly. “That’s no way to greet your admin, especially when she comes bearing good news.” She sniffed.

Roxie’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t care if you’re pregnant.”

“That wasn’t what I was going to say.”

She blinked in surprise, and then waited for the admin to continue, wondering what sort of Geico commercial this was going to become.

Skystar took a deep breath. “I’m giving you permission to go…to the ShadowClan roleplay boards!”

Roxie gasped. “To see Shadow?!” She squealed.

“No, to join the army. Of course to see Shadow! It’s all part of my evil plan—I mean your wildest dreams.”

Roxie gave a loud squeal.

“Yes…” Skystar rolled her eyes and walked away.

“AND THERE WE’LL FINALLY BE,
SHADOW AND I!” Roxie burst.

Well, what do you know? Two songs in one chapter.

[{ tessa }]

Lmao, this is so random. That's why I luff it. I liked the part about the dinosaur, and the part about Rosey and Trekkie(What was THAT?! Lol!), and the part where Dawneh and Lineh were commenting on your song.

Hey! I spot a reference. Well, I dunno if this counts. But Professor Tessadore=Professor Dumbledore?

And “Geez! You’re like a pop-up book from hell!” = Gilmore Girls?

[Roxie !]

Yup. Two cookies for Tesseh. D'you have a preference? And about the thing with Rosey and Trekkie...well, if anyone gets that, I'll give em TWO cookies.

[squee.]

xD this rawks, Rox. honestly, i think this was the first time i actually laughed hard enough to the point where it actually hurt.

[Roxie !]

xD Really? I thought that sucked. I just felt random and started typing senselessness xDDD. Is that even a word? Ah well. Thanks ^^

[le Dawnz]

High-five for Roxie! Senselessness is actually a word! xD I looooved the 'pop-up book' thing, and I totally spotted the Dumbledore thing. But I'm still kind of fuzzy on that whole Trekkie thing. -scratches head- I think this is one of the randomest chapters.

This, however, has to be my favorite quote from the entire story:

“Oh the drama!” Cried a voice dramatically. Roxie choked and looked up to see Skystar standing next to her. Roxie yelped in surprise and stumbled backward.

“Geez! You’re like a pop-up book from hell!”

Skystar eyed her disapprovingly. “That’s no way to greet your admin, especially when she comes bearing good news.” She sniffed.

Roxie’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t care if you’re pregnant.”